When Google fails, Quora is where people go to ask their most unanswerable questions. Although it might take some time to fetch desirable answers, be assured that the answers will be entertaining. So it is not surprising -- actually, it is -- that someone on Quora asked, "How long do couples wait to get intimate in an arranged marriage?". After one stares at the question hard for a few minutes, it is not difficult to see the resolve behind the one asking the question to settle this matter once and for all.
However, the earnestness and honesty with which users have answered the question is refreshing. We hope this answers your question!
Here are some excerpts from the answers:
An anonymous user shared this account after making it clear that "My husband and I waited for 2 months to have sex."
Yeah, I know. It was time for sex. I was literally shivering as I walked back to the room. I know he was my husband, but we hadn't even kissed yet. I was in no shape or form ready to get intimate with him. I thought I should pretend to fall asleep, but for how many days could I do that? I didn't want to disappoint him the first night of our honeymoon by being the 'I have a headache' wife. He had been so nice to me. But then, I didn't owe him sex just because he was being nice. But, his sister-in-law had specially accompanied me for lingerie shopping, & gotten me the 'first night' dress. [So creepy!] I know it makes no sense, but I was feeling like a slut as I was about to have sex with a guy I barely knew. I didn't feel like his wife yet! But what option did I have? The black babydoll [this one] was lying on the bed & I was trying to summon the courage to put it on. Then I heard "Don't you think it's too soon to wear that? I just wanted us to go for a walk."
Another anonymous user revealed his experience by saying "Ours was an arranged marriage, but we did not wait till our wedding to do what couples do on their special night."
One day, I was at her flat (she used to live along with her roommate in a 2BHK flat). Her roommate was also there. We were happily chatting away our time. Her friend suddenly said, that she needed to go out and get some groceries. She went away.
Now, both of us were all alone, in her flat and there was pin-drop silence. Both of us had been on a couple of dates before but we were never in such a situation before. To break the ice, she started talking about something. After a few minutes, there was again complete silence. She came close to me and kissed me on the cheek. I was awestruck. I was unable to fathom what just happened. She then told me to kiss her back. I was reluctant at first, but then I thought that she can consider breaking off the marriage because of this incident. I kissed her back on the cheek. They were simply small pecks as in what you give to a child.
Another anonymous user shared his experience.
And the wedding day, as tiring as it gets, ended and we finally reached our hotel at 2 am. I was lucky to have spent a good amount of time with her and we both felt we were a comfortable couple till this night. By the time my friends left, it was 4 am and I was just too tired but how can you just sleep on your first night? So there I was, just taken a shower and ready to get into action. Not even for a second, I thought or asked her if she was ready. Seeing my excitement, she didn't say anything. She freshened up and came out in her first night dress. I still go weak when I think of that sight. She was lying besides me and that is when the reality stuck. You don't do sex just for the heck of it. It has to be enjoyed and felt and we both knew it wasn't going to be the case.
Ishteaque Khan put it very simply.
When asked, I was told that he had sex the very first night of their marriage, that does not mean the lady was unwilling or did whet she did without her consent, it just means that she was also waiting for that moment.
This anonymous user had this to say:
It was not exactly an arranged marriage thing!! But I was not ready for it on the first night. He knew it. Then we had to live in different countries due to our career after a month of our wedding. We celebrated festivals together but we hugged, we kissed never went beyond. Yes, I love him a Lot and he loves me a lot. But even at the end of a year, we haven't got there . We talk about it. And we are duper happy too. I feel it's ok to wait.
Well, here's to more such questions on Quora.