11/03/2015 8:17 AM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:25 AM IST

Nursery Rhymes For India, Part 1: The Alphabet

MANJUNATH KIRAN via Getty Images
Catwalk or Skycats of the Scandinavian Aerobatic Team leave a trail of Indian tri-colour smoke as they perform aerobatics during the second day of the Aero India 2015 at the Yelahanka Airforce Station in Bangalore on February 19, 2015. AFP PHOTO / Manjunath KIRAN (Photo credit should read Manjunath Kiran/AFP/Getty Images)

A is for Assembly. Bills make us yawn.

But network is great, so we can watch porn.

B is for Ban, such fun to impose,

A ban every morning is the optimum dose.

C is for Cow. Cow is our mummy.

May it roam everywhere except your tummy.

D's for Development. For all South Asians

It's coming soon, now develop your patience.

E is for Energy. Power is Power.

Plants are being planted. Your land is our.

F is for Family. Key to our lives.

Lock up your daughters and find your sons wives.

G is for Govt, Gods, Goodness unending,

And Gandhi or Godse, the verdict is pending.

H is for History, long may it last,

Distract from the present by fixing the past.

I is for India, our great motherland!

And also for Image (please see B for Ban).

J is for Jharoo, which sweeps away dust (selfie)

Cleaning our country's an absolute must (selfie).

K is for Kashmir. Take note of our borders

And don't show wrong maps. These are our orders.

L is for Laws, which you must all always follow,

And never call medieval, colonial or hollow.

M is for Modi, may his name be blessed!

Fighter of crocodiles, always best dressed.

N is for Net, which is highly suspicious.

Too much voice makes peasants both vain and vicious.

O is for Ordinance, Obedience and Om,

And also for Orderly Ideal Home.

P is for Politics. We're always trying.

Please always trust us. We're never lying.

Q is for queue. An orderly line,

You must maintain it, if we don't it's fine.

R is for Rape. So many to blame,

But lets not discuss it, it brings India shame.

S is for Secular, all Indians are brothers,

Some brothers may be less bro-ly than others.

T is for Tech. Bright futures, hurray!

Also for Tricolour, please don't display.

U is for Unity and Understanding

Please know there are worse places than where you're standing.

V is for Vote, our great motivation

National pastime of our near-perfect nation.

W is for West, the despoiler of values

And also for Women, the cookers of aloos.

X is for algebra, which we invented

Like everything else that the West patented.

Y is for Youth both sanskaari and trendy

Youth doing Yoga, biddable, bendy.

Z is for Z-class for relatives and sages.

Watch them and feel joy - you pay their wages.

More On This Topic