Would-be-moms are pampered during pregnancy. This has been a tradition in the country and as urban affluence has grown it's been taken to the next level. One finds maternity hospitals lining up array of programs—yoga, massage and more—for the mom-to-be. They are treated like princesses by their spouse, family, friends. There are baby showers, special meals, concern and care from colleagues who'd otherwise be nasty.
The good food, pampering sessions and prenatal yoga are complemented by a steady stream of advice from friends, pregnancy books and online sources, as well as talks that promise to share the secrets of a smooth delivery and mother. In short, you feel you're completely prepared for what lies ahead.
The focus is now on the baby. Period. The title of princess or queen is lost and you are given this burden of being a mom.
But the reality hits when you have the little bundle of life in your hands and you are clueless about what to do next at this juncture. It is only when you are on the hospital bed or a few days later at home that you realize that no amount of preparation was just enough for this life change.
The focus is now on the baby. Period. The title of princess or queen is lost and you are given this burden of being a mom. Suddenly you are supposed to be responsible for shaping the child's life. I have come across several women who, like me, wondered if they could manage their own lives properly, leave alone someone else's.
You have no time for yourself and the baby shows no sympathy—he or she wants your attention now; at times it feels as if the baby is begging you non-verbally to be submerged with his or her identity. This I think makes most new mums vulnerable, emotional, susceptible to depression. It doesn't really get so much better when the baby grows into a toddler and communicates through babbling and cries. Many urban Indian mums have had enough by this stage. Most are eager to head back to work, having convinced themselves that it is the only way to preserve their sanity.
Yet, while many do resume their careers, there are others who choose to be stay-at-home parents. It is great when you are happy and pass this feeling on to your little one. He or she is constantly observing you and imbibing your vibes. It is of utmost importance that you be happy. It doesn't matter when you get back to work or if you get back at all. Looking after a baby requires commitment and we all know that it isn't easy.
It is important to do what you love doing. Yet it isn't easy to find this passion especially when you are a mom and might not really have the luxury to choose an alternate career post motherhood. While there are many who want to go back to their old demanding jobs, there are others who want to balance it out with something more flexible or deal with motherhood by just being a mom which itself is a huge responsibility. But the key factor is being happy. Are you happy being a working mum or a stay-at-home parent? Or do you want to figure out what to do with life alongside the demanding position of motherhood?
Your baby is constantly observing you and imbibing your vibes. It is of utmost importance that you be happy.
A few things can make your life a little simpler. Try taking time for yourself to pursue a new course or a workshop. Meet people who are not just moms of babies of the same age group but of older children—this helps put the evolving journey of motherhood into perspective. It is about being yourself along with being a mum. Finding your identity does not rest in a job title; it could be anything that inspires you and satisfies you. Being happy, however, is much more important than anything else.
Try and include activities in your routine that make you feel good with your baby at home and outside as well. Get back to your work or career when you are sure that it's what you really want to do. Being a mum makes you a part of one of the finest relationships in the world and we surely need to treasure it.
Lastly, do not crib over your present status. If you want to see a change in your life, take a step at a time towards making it happen, rather than jumping a few stairs together.