09/12/2014 6:06 PM IST | Updated 07/12/2017 3:50 AM IST

22 Clever Christmas Cards That Are Actually Funny

Lost Marbles Co.

Your Christmas card game just got a whole lot stronger.

Let's be real. Christmas cards suck. You're either getting some lame variation of a red-and-green-themed Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Season's Greetings OR some braggadocious novel of holiday newsletter that is solely aimed at making you feel even worse about your pathetic life. We can't force people to stop sending you either of these sad excuses for "holiday cheer," but we can make sure that you're never forced to do the same.

We've compiled a few hilarious card options for every person your list. Whether you need a card for your precocious 8-year-old cousin Olivia or your totally obnoxious brother-in-law Dave, we've got you covered.

For the person who loves pop culture...


Source: Seas and Peas

Jon Snow

Source: Tay Ham Greeting Cards

darth vader

Source: Clever Printables

For the person who can appreciate a good biblical joke...


Source: shopsaplingpress


Source: Naughty Little Cards

Or a good tech joke...


Source: shopsaplingpress

For the person who knows how to truly enjoy the holiday...

mulled wine

Source: JessieandSquid

fat pants

Source: Stuff Anna Loves


Source: Naughty Little Cards

And for the cynic who is approaching it all wrong...


Source: shopsaplingpress

For that special someone...

Like Balls

Source: Lost Marbles Co.


Source: Naughty Little Cards

sit lap

Source: Lost Marbles Co.

well hung

Source: Lost Marbles Co.

Or not...


Source: Naughty Little Cards

For the G-rated crowd...


Source: Mudsplash Studios

want ewe

Source: Claire Lordon Design

And the R-rated crowd...

bite me

Source: Lost Marbles Co.

hum bug

Source: JessieandSquid


Source: Lost Marbles Co.

For mom or dad or anyone else who has "had it with the damn cell phones"...


Source: shopsaplingpress

And last, but not least, for Dave...


Source: JessieandSquid