Wedding season is here, which fills us with joy, excitement and a touch of dread, too.
Watching two people you adore tie the knot, drinking tequila and tearing up the dance floor with your best friends is awesome. Racking up credit card debt just so you can afford the flights, hotel stay and gift? Not so much.
Whether you’re a guest, in the bridal party or the couple getting married, you have to admit that weddings are both wonderful and completely ridiculous occasions at the same time. Below, we’ve gathered 26 funny tweets to get you through the rest of wedding season:
wedding registries should just be gifts the couple gives their single friends. you'd go on the registry & be like "I've been single 6 years & I need a blender so I can make my meals for one" and the couple would be like "awesome! here’s your blender. Sorry we have love & u dont.”
— How To Be Alone (by me Lane Moore) is out now (@hellolanemoore) February 27, 2019
Great idea, let's write our own wedding vows. I can't think of a better way to kick off my eternity with you than a homework assignment.
— Jack Boot (@IamJackBoot) December 18, 2017
Gather 'round you single losers so I can throw my used flowers at you -Brides
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 1, 2015
Sometimes I’ll sign a wedding guestbook with something inspirational:
— The Personification of nEvil (@TheAlexNevil) October 21, 2018
“1 out of 5 stars: would not recommend”
I love going to weddings. It's like a free party that I paid $300 to attend.
— sarafcarter (@sarafcarter) November 14, 2018
April showers bring May flowers bring June thru September weddings and personal bankruptcy but things are great, why?
— Kate (@katethewasp) March 30, 2016
10 minutes into wedding planning: i want mason jars & a thousand twinkle lights & a timeless forest aesthetic!!!!
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) November 7, 2018
10 hours into wedding planning: i’m getting married in a crypt & no one is invited
Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) September 15, 2014
When a friend asks you to be a bridesmaid, she's really saying "Give me $1000 & get ready to look pregnant in an empire waist dress."
— Jade Roper Tolbert (@jadelizroper) February 26, 2014
I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer.
— Cleve (@turbomanatee) June 6, 2014
[Wedding meal]
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) December 2, 2018
*taps wine glass until everyone stops talking and I stand up to speak* I need more wine
Welcome to my rustic wedding, eat these twigs bitch
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) December 4, 2016
Planning my wedding like - "I am understated, elegant, let's not get crazy -- WAIT I CAN MONOGRAM THE SOLES OF MY HEELS?"
— Kate (@katethewasp) June 13, 2017
Looking up wedding venue prices once again drives home the fact that now, more than ever, we need full communism
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) April 30, 2018
People like to hate on brides who post their wedding photos 1 year after the fact but if I spent an entry level salary on one day, I would be posting those pics until I'm 80
— betchesbrides (@betchesbrides) May 13, 2019
can’t wait to wear a beautiful white wedding dress so i can hear my friends & family gasp & say “oooo a sickly victorian ghost, everyone run”
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) January 31, 2019
A wedding guest list is the single most political thing you will ever do unless you become the President of the United States of America.
— Dawn O’Porter (@hotpatooties) March 15, 2012
my fiance actually just received a wedding invitation addressed to her "and man"
— ahmed ali akbar (@radbrowndads) March 14, 2016
not plus one
"and man"
I accidentally butt dialed 911 at a wedding last night, but then I was like actually these dance moves are on FIRE u might wanna get down here
— Kelly Hannon (@Hannerisms) September 23, 2018
Sorry I can't afford to come to your wedding; I accidentally walked by a Sephora.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) June 28, 2016
just googled "woman who goes to a lot of weddings" because i was trying to remember some movie but google was like "bitch that's you"
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) October 16, 2015
when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 28, 2018
I wish we could rate wedding videos on rotten tomatoes
— Chelsea Devantez (@chelseadevantez) September 22, 2017
The real struggle at a wedding reception is trying to leave as early as possible while still drinking enough to equal the money you gave to the bride and groom.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) September 20, 2018
The older I get the more I want to know exactly how Katherine Heigl's character could afford to be a bridesmaid in 27 weddings.
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) April 23, 2019
People’s put the weirdest shit on their wedding registries.
— Kristen (@Kica333) March 22, 2018
What the fuck are you going to do with a crystal duck Katie?