The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― and succinct ― wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or less. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups. Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here. Me: I need to make better life choices.Also me: CAKE FOR BREAKFAST IT IS.— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) June 23, 2019 my mom: hime: WHAT DO I DO WITH RECEIPTS SHOULD I BE KEEPING THEM ALL???— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 23, 2019 Me this afternoon, peeling out of the Gelsons parking lot after spending $80 on potato salad and spicy tuna rolls. pic.twitter.com/KCJrBtCVrp— Rebecca Keegan (@ThatRebecca) June 24, 2019 Okay but what if you fool me nine times? It goes back on you, right?— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) June 27, 2019 currently deciding if I should save up for a tattoo or a nice vacuum what a curious life phase this is— Julia Bush (@jabush) June 24, 2019 couldn't remember the word for penguin so i called it a cold boy— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) June 25, 2019 How did Ariana and Pete only happen last year, how many lives have we lived since then— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) June 26, 2019 No one:Every woman over 50 while eating dessert (ANY dessert): wow it’s so RICH!— madrigal (@whatmaddness) June 24, 2019 Ten democratic nominees stand before me, but I only have nine pictures in my hands... pic.twitter.com/jdtLylgyEo— @PiaGlenn (@PiaGlenn) June 28, 2019 i will never forgive apple for making the charge hole also the earphone hole and yes those are the names i have chosen to give them— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) June 23, 2019 No one: Absolutely no one:9 year old me during the 2008 recession: Why can't they just print more money?— chloé🌛🌈 (@chlostrophobic) June 23, 2019 absolutely was eaten alive by mosquitos over the weekend, might not ever recover. please respect my privacy at this difficult time. when i said i looked like a snack i DID not mean to cc them!— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) June 25, 2019 me on my way over to my friend's house with gatorade, ibuprofen and snacks after they nearly threw up in the uber the night before pic.twitter.com/z5KMfJrjsP— Samantha Tomaszewski (@managewski) June 26, 2019 one of the worst kinds of eye contact is with anyone waiting for a table in a restaurant when you are sitting at a table— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 26, 2019 the dream of the 90s is alive in strawberry, arugula, walnut salad— Annabel Gat (@annabelgat_) June 24, 2019 No one has ever offered me cocaine and I’m mildly offended by it.— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) June 25, 2019 Just sent a save-the-date for my 30th birthday all-day bagel brunch three months in advance to give it the gravitas of a wedding.— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) June 26, 2019 🎵SomeBODY once told me to stay among the seaweed But I just went ahead and got legsI was lookin kind of dumb cuz the sea witch almost wonBut got stabbed with a boat now she’s so dead🎵— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) June 24, 2019 Four weeks into a job, you’ve seen everybody’s shirts— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) June 27, 2019 It is annoying that 10 people on stage for dem debate tonight and not one of them is megan rapinoe— Samhita Mukhopadhyay (@TheSamhita) June 26, 2019 US Election The latest polls, breaking news and analysis on the 2020 US presidential election from HuffPost See More Suggest a correctionMore:twitterwomenFunniest Tweets From WomenHollis MillerAssociate Social Editor, HuffPost Voicesicon_twitterCreated with Sketch.icon_instagram_solidCreated with Sketch.