As an internet historian whose job is to dig into the muck of ad-choked websites from the Age of Outrage (circa 2000-2050 Before Sense), I get to read a lot of strange stuff online, starring our melodramatic ancestors (the Outrage Humans). Only a week back, the historian internet was broken by the unveiling of the Padashian Butt, an ancient silicone relic that was greatly revered by the Outrage Humans. Today, I'm going to put that discovery to shame, by narrating, for the first time ever, the story of Pelpur.
<em>Mitron</em>, Namaste. I have great news! Nationalism is no longer difficult and old-fashioned! Now, you don't have to risk your life (like Captain Pawan Kumar), or take up the battles of the oppressed (like Soni Sori), or contribute to the county in any meaningful way (like Azim Premji) to claim to be the proudest nationalist around. I bring to you a shiny-new, Chetan Bhagat-ized version of nationalism: popular, feel-good, super-easy to understand.
04/03/2016 8:18 AM IST
I rather like the idea of celebrating 14 February as Parents Worship Day, or Matru Pitru Pujan Divas as it is called in Sanskaristan. Now, you might get all rattled with me for supporting this campaign. You might tell me that love and sex are not against Indian culture and so on, but it is actually a superb idea, and here's how.
16/02/2016 8:24 AM IST
As Girdhariji deftly dipped samosas into the <em>kadhai</em>, I remembered: samosas originated in Central Asia! They weren't Indian at all. <em>And yet</em>, here sat Girdhariji, profiting off another culture without a care in the world! Here he was, shamelessly calling his shop "Girdhariji Ke Mashhoor Samosay", instead of "Girdhariji Ke Mashhoor Version of Persia Ke Samosay". In fact, he even distorted the samosa by selling it within a pao -- an idea that can only be Maharashtrian. What a shameless culture appropriator!
11/02/2016 8:13 AM IST
During the first fortnight of the odd-even scheme, the battle for the shiny-silver, much-coveted Delhi metro seat intensified like never before. And as Mr. Kejriwal plans to release a sequel to the scheme in March, I am sure that this game of thrones will only grow murkier. So here I have a three-step formula (recommended by nine out of 10 seat-snatching aunties at Kashmere Gate) to help you land a seat in the metro during the tough times to come.
21/01/2016 8:16 AM IST
I logged on to Twitter, the easiest way to participate in the outrage of the moment. And expectedly, I found my meat (accidental pun) - the Yulin dog meat festival in China. As a person struggling to choose between the pleasures of KFC's crispy chicken and the joys of a clean conscience, I was instantly hooked. This was a chance to develop a clear stand on the one question I've been evading since I gobbled my first half-fry at the age of 12-- to eat meat or not?
26/06/2015 8:17 AM IST
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