15/12/2014 10:06 PM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:24 AM IST

Why Do Indian Men Stare At Women

The reasons for staring may be numerous but the truth is that we unfortunately live in a sexually deprived and depraved society, largely helped along by stereotypes and to a certain extent Bollywood.

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India, Old Delhi, Jama Masjid, Grand Mosque, Built In 1656. (Photo by Education Images/UIG via Getty Images)

Why do most Indian men have a habit of staring at women? To understand this national pastime at a more fundamental level, firstly we need to understand the concept of staring.

When does a person stare? Usually this starts very early in life, whenever we don't understand something, we tend to stare, as if staring would make things clearer. Since boys tend to have more ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) than girls, it follows that the boys tend to spend more time not understanding things and thus, staring. The habit starts building up to such a point that when the normal Indian male reaches his teens and his blood has more hormones than haemoglobin, he starts staring at these mystifying wonders of his world -- Women.

It's not as if all Indian men stare at women for the same reason. A fair percentage of men need to determine by visual vote whether a woman is cultured or not depending on the kind of clothes she wears, or rather how many pieces of clothing is she wearing. The men with an even more finely honed "culture barometer" try and reason out as to why is the woman wearing those particular clothes? The answer to all these baffling questions are being worked out whilst staring at women.

Another main cause of Indian men staring incessantly at women is "past life correlation and regression". Don't get scared, this phenomenon doesn't have anything to do with mathematics, it is purely the Indian male's need for correlating women to things that they are familiar with or understand.

Men afflicted with this malady are constantly trying to figure out which woman resembles which famous actress or current fantasy or whether they've seen the lady somewhere or not. All these life-changing queries involve a lot of staring on the Indian man's part. The women obviously don't have a clue as to why they are being subjected to a kind of X-ray vision Superman would have been proud of.

Some Indian men also have an underlying scholarly reason to account for their staring at women. They are the disguised Sherlocks in our societal scum, and their stares are not just simple lust-propelled hormonal imbalances in their nature, they don't call it staring but instead garb it in a more dignified term called "observing".

These "observers" of women try to deduce things about the objects of their miss-affections that would put to shame any detective we have ever heard of. These observations will include whether the woman is happy or not, whether she needs a man (read "observer") in her life or not, her moral character which miraculously becomes directly proportional to her physical attributes.

The National Society of Stare Gazers also have another complex formula for determining the moral fibre of a woman. The exact calculation of moral character of a woman being stared at is unique to every member but broadly speaking, it involves observing the skin being shown by the woman and multiplying it with the desperation of the staring party and squaring it with the distance till which she can be stared at.

These stare stars, or observers, or whatever we might like to call them, also believe in never letting any woman feel lonely. Their stares underline the essence of the Late MJ's hit single "You are not alone", and if their eyes could walk they would follow the fairer sex to every nook and cranny of the universe.

The views expressed above are purely my own and may not hold true for all Indian men, however, it is an issue which plagues or has plagued almost every woman in this blessed country of mine.

The reasons for staring may be numerous but the truth is that we unfortunately live in a sexually deprived and depraved society, largely helped along by stereotypes and to a certain extent Bollywood. I, for one, firmly believe that proper education, not just at school but also at home, on the TV, movies, etc. is the only way out of this stare-struck country of ours.