24/03/2015 8:02 AM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:25 AM IST

Hail Humility

Given that we are wiser after an election, fingers are being pointed at Modi's vanity, Bedi's senility, Kejriwal's humility, Sonia's divinity, Rahul's naivety, Sadhvi's crudity and Amit Shah's obesity.

Young students of Hindu religion wear Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), or the common man party, caps and wait for the arrival of AAP leader Arvind Kejriwal during an election rally in Varanasi, in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, Friday, May 9, 2014. Varanasi will go to the polls on May 12, the final day of voting, with Kejriwal running from the constituency against Narendra Modi, the prime ministerial candidate of India’s main opposition Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP). (AP Photo/ Rajesh Kumar Singh)

Breathtaking. February was indeed a month where cupid played impulsive games on Delhi's political terra firma. Wonder why the media couldn't predict Delhi's affair with the Mufflerman. But the media is always right, always number one, and always sabse tez. They aren't answerable to anyone. So, what really happened? More importantly, why did the politically aware Delhiite fall for the fish rather than the fishing rod?

Given that we are wiser after an election, fingers are being pointed at Modi's vanity, Bedi's senility, Kejriwal's humility, Sonia's divinity, Rahul's naivety, Sadhvi's crudity and Amit Shah's obesity. Well, only for the lack of a rhyming word. According to unreliable sources, here are a few tips for those who wish to woo the voters.

Cute Quotient

Whether it was cute Raghav Chadha or oh-sho sweet Atishi Marlena, television viewers loved the breath of fresh air after tolerating fetid fumes emanating from conceited spokespersons. All because arrogance led to the fall of Humpty Dumpty, it is now amusing to watch BJP and Congress spokespersons dressed in a cloak of humility, addressing each other as 'my respected opponent'. From what the sources reveal, Congress is in talks with Alia Bhatt to up the cute quotient on television debates. Of course, these lessons in humility and cuteness are not for the soft spoken Derek O'Brien or his affable leader.

Mush Mush

One of the abiding images in the aftermath of the unprecedented win was the picture where Arvind was seen hugging his wife. When he embraced his demure wife in a fit of joy, it made for poignant viewing. The entire social media went 'Awww'. Ever since, politicians are being asked to hold hands of their spouses, caress their hair, or play with kids to create an image of a caring leader. By any measure, this is not to say that future CMs should be seen locking lips in public. Err, no. That would be a bit too much for our 'sanskriti' to swallow. Quick to course correct, Modi ji was seen playing with Mulayam's grandson at a family wedding. So much for image building. Or the budget session. Whatever.

Those Who Live In Glass Houses...

It was a bit funny when Mr. Unaccounted Money Bags asked AAP about that hundred rupee note. Just as it was hilarious when the Congress questioned Modi about his suit. Imagine Mulayam Singh raising questions about dynasty politics. Odd, no? What is it that they say about glass houses and throwing stones?

Two-Outfit Theory

Our IIT-ian made sure that he wore only two sweaters -- wine red and navy blue. Consequently, some politicians have decided to wear only two outfits during the election season. Poor guys, they don't know that our man had a dozen similar looking red and blue sweaters. Allegedly, this was a well guarded secret known only to Shazia Ilmi. Puncturing this theory, an analyst from West Bengal has warned that the positive political dividends of crumpled clothes and bathroom slippers fade quickly. They should not be seen in isolation.

No Privileges, No Full Page Adverts

After our Kaushambi boy made a strong pitch against Lal Batti, some politicians have decided to attend a rehab centre to learn to give up privileges. There are talks of replacing luxury cars with rickety Wagon Rs to strike the right notes.

Politicians are God's gift to mankind. But unlike our Tamil counterparts, Delhiites, it seems are repulsed by full page advertisement displaying a politician's picture. No, thank you.

Reality vs Humility

That Delhi belongs to Dil-wallas was obvious when they forgave Arvind for all his bumbling. Recognising the power of humility and apology, Nitish Kumar began on the right note when he thanked all those present at his swearing-in ceremony. The good learner that he is, he is now ready to hug his alleged communal tormentor. Sources reveal that Ajay Maken has ordered loads of 'I'm Sorry' cards to be hand delivered personally with the message, 'Sincere apologies from a very small man'.

After AAPs invincibility, its credibility is at stake owing to one mans egocentricity. Who said it is easy to don a cap of humility in unstable polity. The cap either doesn't fit or keeps falling unceremoniously. Such is reality.

This post originally appeared on Freebird.

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