12/01/2017 4:40 PM IST | Updated 14/01/2017 5:35 PM IST

What On Earth Do The English Translations Of These Hindi Songs Mean?


Halimali/ YouTube

From women claiming to be tandoori murgi one can gulp along with alcohol to men screaming lailalaila while tearing apart one's kurta, Bollywood songs have consistently defied logic and human understanding. You would think nothing can better and beat the great legacy of lyrics like, 'Ice cream khaungi, Kashmir jaaungi'. But then you discover subtitles and English translations of the same Hindi songs.

Get ready. Your life's about to change.

1. This strange profession no one has ever heard of

Sister! Your brother-in-law is crazy,

Oh Ram! He throws seeds for women,

This is an old profession of his,

He throws seeds for women.

2. This urgent demand for Pudin Hara, disguised as a song

To make lightning fall, I have come

They call me, air airy.

3. Unsettling demands from bae

Lemon, lemon, lemon...

Arre get me raw, raw, small small lemon.

4. This worrying series of events

It has started to dhak dhak,

My heart is starting to get scared,

My lover, leave my hands now, don't try to pluck the flower-buds,

Both the hearts have met, then why this shyness from me,

You are my lover, you look amazing.

5. World's most daring flower bud

I was an eighteen year old single flower bud,

Was walking hiding my face in my veil,

Got trapped,

Got trapped in the chickpea farm,

There was a theft in the chickpea farm.

6. This instance of drunk poetry-ing

O lover of mine! O lover of mine!

Let me drink from your eyes,

There is some pain in my heart,

Let me live in this over-joyous atmosphere.

7. This person who probably needs a cataract surgery, but is in denial

The shadow on my heart is your shadow, made up of seven colours, the wilful colour of Your heart,

You're a glow, why are you so distant?

When you are near, you are a feeling itself,

Are you a dream, or some shadow? O rainbow coloured one!

8. This person who is smoking something magical

Your eyes attack me like a lion hunts,

Your body is like a burning cigar,

The intoxication of your love is making me cross all limits,

Your Love is like a hookah bar.

9. This person who has high BP, but thinks he is in love

The sun is leaving the dusk behind and the moon seems brighter,

Why did the sky begin to melt?

I was standing still, but the earth began to move,

My heart beats faster, my breath gets deeper,

Oh, is this my very first love?

My darling, is this my very first love?

10. This person who thinks she is a tigress

When I stretch mightily,

When I stretch mightily,

The sounds of 'uhh' and 'ahh' come from every side,

The way I walk,

That there is a hell of a noise,

Conscious people also seem to be intoxicated.

11. This person with attachment issues

With You by my side, I have learnt the art of living life,

How to forget grief also, I have learnt the trick,

Dancing and dancing on,

I am enjoying,

I am continuously chanting your name, my love,

I am continuously chanting your name.

12. This guy who has issues sticking to one argument

When You walk on the streets

You ignite a fire in the hearts of guys


You throw false tantrums when you look at us

You're a liar!

Black glasses look good on you.