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Random Funny Tweets By Desi Twitter To Get You Through The Day

"I told this girl to talk dirty to me in DM. Now we are discussing politics and religion."
Twitter.com

The cliché is true. Laughter is actually the best medicine. Good humour is infectious. It can cheer up anyone, anywhere, anytime.

And in this fast-paced world that keeps you on your toes, laughter can feel like a luxury that you have little time for.

Worry not, we have got you covered! There are plenty of desi 'comics' out there, cracking jokes that will make you forget your cares.

So relax and sit back for a barrel full of laughs.

1.

I have only seen people underwhelmed or overwhelmed, never whelmed properly.

— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 7, 2016

2.

The true face of the Friendzone pic.twitter.com/keGxR0DjmD

— Sahil Rizwan (@SahilRiz) December 22, 2014

3.

*John Abraham finds cure for cancer*

Journalist: John tell us about your bike.

— krzfrg (@krazyfrog) August 30, 2015

4.

LIC agent: Sir, this policy is the best for you sir

Prabhu Deva: Is it...

LIC agent: No please don't

Prabhu Deva: Take it easy policy

— Andoopam (@Andoopam) July 15, 2015

5.

No I'll still not act pic.twitter.com/KpM03lvaSs

— dorku (@Dorkstar) February 19, 2016

6.

7.

I told this girl to talk dirty to me in DM. Now we are discussing politics and religion.

— Sagar (@sagarcasm) December 12, 2015

8.

An Indian wedding reception must be the happiest day of vanilla ice cream's life.

— 💩 (@supaarwoman) July 30, 2013

9.

"Tu kisi MonoRail si guzarti hai. Main kisi jhuggi sa thartharata hoon" #Mumbaipic.twitter.com/8w8Vusbhcd

— Raunak (@MeraHandle) March 8, 2016

10.

Indian mother logic:

After 1 missed call: He is busy. I'll call later.

After 2 calls: Why is he so busy?

After 3 calls: Oh no. He's dead.

— Sahil Shah (@SahilBulla) May 14, 2013

11.

Girl: Can you do a British accent?

Me: Yes.

Girl: Say something.

Me: tum saala gulaam log meri jooti ke neeche rahega.

— Siddharth Dudeja (@sidudeja) September 5, 2015

12.

Coke Studio pic.twitter.com/ZCOkILgerO

— Shan (@klpe) August 29, 2016

13.

If @ajaydevgn was a bird. pic.twitter.com/CubN0UyQPL

— डि.के. (@itsdhruvism) August 10, 2016

14.

After match - Harsha:so wat went wrong? Misbah:Inshallah dey got early wickets Mashallah n fielded well n Mashallah Mashallah chehra he M...

— Sense of tumor (@dashhtweets) June 15, 2013

15.

When he finally finds your g-spot pic.twitter.com/jgFRLyAW7q

— Priyal (@priyal) October 7, 2015

16.

me- so lol friendzoning is like rsvp-ing "maybe" to a facebook event invitation

uber driver- pls ask my salary like everybody else

— crapo (@Creepowoman) September 24, 2015

17.

When Nirupa Roy was born, doctor said

"माँ तू कहाँ चली गयी थी माँ, तेरा बेटा डॉक्टर बन गया।"

— Kabir (@The_Sleigher) January 23, 2014

18.

Your Uber is 4 mins away.

Your Uber is 14 mins away.

Your Uber is 34 mins away.

Your Uber is an illusion.

Your Uber is an ISRO satellite.

— Sorabh Pant (@hankypanty) May 2, 2016

19.

20.

I am a wine connus...conoyi...conashu... Old monk quarter dedo bhai.

— Ashwin (@YouDontKnowWho_) June 1, 2015

21.

Bhaiyya pomegranate kaise diya?

90 rs kg

Bhaiyya anar kaise diya?

60 rs kg

— izzy (@abcdefu) August 9, 2015

22.

[patient has headache/cancer/AIDS]

Relative: Dawa ?

70's Bollywood Doc: Aap inhe lekar kuch dinon ke liye kisi hill-station pe chale jaaiye

— adrak (@ubercoolosis) March 8, 2016

23.

Me - aaiye aunty baithiye.

Aunty - beta jara shift hona

Me - AAIYE AUNTY BAITHIYE.

— Swagshank (@zZoker) January 9, 2015

24.

25.

The only thing missing in this pic is the Taj Mahal pic.twitter.com/BSR6BNfi73

— The-Lying-Lama (@KyaUkhaadLega) March 17, 2015

26.

modi: mitron...

nris: modi modi modi modi

modi: in honor of me we are renaming Oklahoma to...DHOKLAHOMA

[crowd goes wild]

— Abhishek Madan (@abhishekmadan) September 24, 2015

27.

TV pe show ek dhang ka nahi hai par remote pe button itne hai ki banda aeroplane chala le.

— #RetweetExpert (@Oinkoo) July 15, 2014

28.

explaining on phone

Me: ab my computer pe right click karo

She:kiya

Me: device manager kholo

She:khola

Me:ab upar dekho kya hai?

She: pankha

— Bakwas Rider (@BakwasRadio) June 22, 2015

29.

It's so annoying when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and they don't accept your friend request.

— Shivam (@GhantaGuy) August 19, 2015

30.

He : Oh laal dupatte waali tera naam to bata

Superman : Shut up bro.

— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) September 22, 2014

31.

Falguni Pathak during Navratri pic.twitter.com/diJBUx1Qhc

— Bad Company. (@RowdyTalks) October 13, 2015

32.

an indian thriller called "now as you can see" starring a dude called ravi pointing at the screen giving a powerpoint presentation for 3 hrs

— crapo (@Creepowoman) May 16, 2016

33.

when only the girl's side has paid for the photographer pic.twitter.com/NyssCDRPdn

— Nishtha Kanal (@RootKanal) June 9, 2015

34.

Me: Bhai 10 Samose diyo.

Guy: Pack karne hain?

Me: nahee. *opens mouth* le bhai muh mein bhar de.

— Viren (@Kaminapun) September 8, 2013

35.

Hehe one Bengali friend pressed Ctrl + B to paste.

— izzy (@abcdefu) April 30, 2016

36.

Me: Khaana thanda ho gaya. Ab kya karein?

Milkha Singh: Oven karenge oven karenge oven karenge..

— Ashwin (@YouDontKnowWho_) August 18, 2013

37.

38.

Bae: Come over.

Dravid: Can't, I am batting.

Bae: No one's home.

Dravid: STFU I AM BATTING pic.twitter.com/oZVv6kR8d4

— Trendulkar (@Trendulkar) January 10, 2016

39.

he: can I call you?

she: no, mummy ghar pe hain.

he: but tum to hostel mein ho na?

she: haan, par mummy to ghar pe hain na.

— #RetweetExpert (@Oinkoo) March 29, 2013

40.

Me:*cleans house*replaces bedsheets*rolls round rotis*paints grandma's toenails*

Ma: Hum tumhare jitne the tab hum roller coaster banate the

— glistening placenta (@AccioBae) June 5, 2015

41.

Shahrukh: Khana Banaya?

Gauri: Tum Banao

S: Kyu 😶

G: Swad Sugandh Ka Raja Baadshah Banaye Badiya Khana...

— Aman (Jain) (@Firki_) November 17, 2015

42.

bae: come over

me: I'm busy

bae: my parents aren't home

*I go over*

There is no bae. There was never a bae.

DIRECTED BY M NIGHT SHYAMALAN

— krzfrg (@krazyfrog) July 17, 2015

43.

This is one of the most fulfilling relationships I've had in in my life pic.twitter.com/wBF9CuvCG4

— Bratticus (@bharatunnithan) August 6, 2016

44.

Ek din toh guzar India me pic.twitter.com/YOHv6sNAUv

— Akshay Jain (@ComedyBanda) May 5, 2015

45.

I like the fact that Gandhi preached non-violence with a danda in his hand.

— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) October 2, 2015

46.

Behen, DP pe caption toh aise lagati ho jaise you're Wordsworth describing nature. What the fuck does 'Dark Sunshine' even mean?

— Akshat (@FarziVakeel) August 24, 2015

47.

Every time R Ashwin comes on to bowl, I picture him first taking off a Cognizant/Infosys ID card from his neck and handing it to the umpire

— Bratticus (@bharatunnithan) April 9, 2016

48.

Some people put so much powder on their face, you can play Carrom on it.

— scaryhairyman (@scaryhairyman) April 16, 2014

49.

When suddenly u realize the wicketkeeper behind u is actually your sasur ji pic.twitter.com/1lzxA65RRG

— billoo (@MohitParmarr) November 24, 2015

50.

@kitAnurag isn't it ghajini bandar ganji kyu? Sundari bandar ganji kyu? Nandari bandar tanduri khaave. Nagasaki tanduri bandar mandir jaave

— Pushkar (@Pushkarr) July 18, 2014

51.

If you buy a royal enfield, it will wait 3 months for you then go to ladakh by itself.

— Prosenjit Basu (@prtxt) September 28, 2014

52.

PREPARING TO CONFIGURE WINDOWS. DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER. I SAID DONT TURN IT OFF YOU MORON. STAY AWAY FRM THAT BUTTON. SAALE BAHAR MIL

— Denver Ka Dhakkan (@tantanoo) March 21, 2013

53.

*Kanpur*

Doctor comes out of operation theatre after 3 hours

"Mubarak ho, light aa gayi"

— Bakwas Rider (@BakwasRadio) May 26, 2016

54.

I am all like jaati hun main and traffic is like jaldi hai kya

— Denver Ka Dhakkan (@tantanoo) January 2, 2014

55.

Jaqen H'ghar: What is your name?

Arya Stark: A girl has a boyfriend.

— Pathikrit Sanyal (@BucketheadCase) May 9, 2016

56.

Do people in Congo type 'India' to congratulate others?

— NumbYaar (@NumbYaar) January 1, 2015

57.

Mother: kaun tha phone par?

Son: friend tha.

Mother: vaastav mein bata kaun tha?

Son: sanjay dutt.

— billoo (@MohitParmarr) October 19, 2014

58.

[Job interview at Zara]

Interviewer: where's your resume?

Candidate: must be somewhere,you'll have to find it yourself.

Interviewer: hired!

— Pranav (@pranavsapra) May 13, 2015

59.

People who use Tabs to make phone calls, use axe to cut vegetables.

— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) October 23, 2013

60.

When you are in a railway ticket counter line and the person behind is saying "aage badhte raho" pic.twitter.com/TTVpkTVrrp

— billoo (@MohitParmarr) October 31, 2015

61.

Movie theatre seats were designed in the era when humans used to have one hand.

— Prosenjit Basu (@prtxt) October 3, 2013

62.

Throwback to the day this dog didn't let a MSEB guy take meter reading so he took photo of the dog instead. pic.twitter.com/3J7jUyAJC7

— Denver Ka Dhakkan (@tantanoo) August 19, 2016

63.

[Flipkart notifications]

Your order has been placed

Your order's been processed

Abhi seller tape lagaega

Delivery boy is wearing shoes now

— Akshar (@AksharPathak) December 17, 2015

64.

Ajay Devgn. Ajay Devsd. Ajay Devtc.

— Pathikrit Sanyal (@BucketheadCase) May 25, 2013

65.

Beti Bachao Beti Padhao

Beti Ko Joke Sunao Beti LMAO

— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) June 29, 2015

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This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost India, which closed in 2020. Some features are no longer enabled. If you have questions or concerns about this article, please contact indiasupport@huffpost.com.