30/08/2016 11:08 AM IST | Updated 30/08/2016 12:49 PM IST

REVIEW: Salman Khan's Smartphone Game 'Being SalMan' Is, Well, Just Like His Movies

Bhai would you expect anything else?

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Salman Khan

On Sunday, actor Salman Khan released a mobile game for his fans. Now, there have been some games released based on movies such as TE3N, Baby, and Ghajini. But this is probably the first time an actor is releasing a solo game that is unrelated to any of his upcoming movies.

The game, which is available on iOS, Android and UCWeb's 9Apps platforms, is called Being SalMan (will they have t-shirts too?). Anyway, after installing the game, Khan greets you with a video of himself introducing the game.

It starts with, "Duniya mai 7 log aise hote hai jinki shakal ek dusre se milti hai. Saat ka to nahi pata — humne teen ko dhundh ke nikala hai (It's said that everyone has seven doppelgängers. Don't know about seven, but we've managed to find three)."

What does one have to do in the game, you ask? I'd say, nothing, nil, zilch. Often when the movie critics review a Salman Khan movie, they say, "Leave your brains at home and enjoy!". This also seems to be applicable here. As a player, one has so little to do that even your cat could play this game.

Now, let me back up and tell you what the game is all about. You have three characters: Tiger, Chulbul Pandey, and Prem. All of them want to fight the bad guys and make the world a better place. The characters get unlocked as you play along.

Salman Khan

There are two chapters in the game: Mumbai and Jaisalmer. Each character has 30 missions to complete a chapter. Apart from that, there are 4 'boss' missions where you have to kill different mafia dons. Some of the mission statements would surely make you chuckle.

Salman Khan

Since it is a Salman Khan game, you'd expect a lot of action but no. All you have to do is shoot a bullet or punch a guy who would hardly attack you. Most of the missions can be completed with a single tap on your screen. And if you high-five the character after completing the mission, he does the infamous 'belt dance move'.

With each successful mission, you get some coins. With them, you can upgrade the weapon and unlock different abilities. For instance, to improve the stability of your shooting you have to upgrade Salman's signature bracelet.

Salman Khan

After a while, the game gets very repetitive. You get one or two more people to shoot or fight with but still the game is fairly easy. At the beginning of each level, Salman Khan enters the game from the sky and cracks the earth, which gets repaired in two seconds. He defeats some of the goons with a slap, a punch or even a pungi (really, now?). And the earth cracks again whenever a bad guy falls. Also, when you shoot your target, gold coins spill out of the body (GTA says hi!).

Being SalMan is developed by a Pune-based game studio called PlayIzzOn. The soundtrack of the game sounds like any item number out of a Salman Khan movie.

To the company's credit, the game didn't break down or stutter at any moment of time. One of the reasons for that is minimal movement and action. Animations and readers used are not top-notch but they are significantly good. Character designs apart from Salman Khan need a lot of improvement. Some of the 'bad guys' look like school kids.

Salman Khan

More hilariously, if you fail to complete a mission, Khan would say things such as "Arre dude kya karrahe ho", "Paaniwanichahiye kya", "Thoda sa concentrate karo yaar", "Arre aapka to game over ho gayabhaiji", "Kya kar rahe ho my dear" and more gems.

Overall, this game is just like the actor's movies — it is for hardcore fans and exists solely to make a few bucks!