Let's face it, given that the love of all our lives is a pocket-sized gadget called the smartphone, the chances of finding a human to love depends heavily on Tinder. And if it fails, one must resign to the higher powers of the neighbourhood aunties and weekly fasts. Fret not, as long as you are in the Tinder phase of life, the ball is still in your court.
The irony is that Tinder is that one place where people bare their soul. Let's just say that some souls are best left un-bared.
However, this unbridled baring of souls has allowed us to figure what most Indians looking to date on Tinder are like.
1. We all are just very 'fun loving'. We have a fun-filled life and live in a fun, fun world.
2. We are all 'travel enthusiasts' and 'love exploring new places' and basically live in a Zoya Akhtar film in our heads.
3. We just really, and only, only prefer 'real and interesting conversations' because we are all 'conversationalists'. We have more 'conversationalists' than engineers in the country.
4. We say 'sapiosexual' a lot though that may not a very sapiosexual thing to do.
5. And there are more 'photography enthusiasts' than potholes in the entire country.
6. We are 'pure Taurean' or 'pure Sagittarian' or a 'pure Libran'. Nothing excites a man/woman than the idea that their prospective date is a believer of hokum.
7. There are a lot of us who 'typeeee likkkeee thiissss'. And even more who don't like people who 'typ lyk dat'.
8. Since writing one original sentence is a tedious job, we quote a lot. And top on our list of random quotes which may impress no one, is 'life is a box of chocolates' from Forrest Gump.
9. We love to state the obvious. 'Male', 'young girl', 'dumb'. Guess which one we made up?
10. We are all 'here to make good friends' because pre-Tinder, we were all Kim Jong Un.
11. We are all 'big' foodies. What if you accused us of being 'small' ones?
12. We like to capitalise words in the middle of sentences. Now what if our potential date suffers from 'lower case alphabet invisibility disorder'?
13. Oh, we are very 'easygoing'. Like we are human nimbu paani or something.
14. We are also here to meet new people. Oh, come on, it's not an obvious thing to state in an app meant for meeting new people. Given how many colleagues, friends and annoying neighbours are on Tinder, it's a perfectly non-stupid claim to make.
15. We are not 'looking for hook-ups' at all. (To be read as: we lie a lot.)
16. #Since #there's #no #tax #on #hashtags #, #we #use #them #a #lot.
17. We think 6'1", 6'4", 5'8" are not mere numbers indicating height, they are achievements worth chronicling.
18. We all 'have a good sense of humour'. You have none, if you are thinking that claim is as good as McDonald's saying it is healthy.