70 Hilarious Tweets By Indian Women That Are Pure Gold

"The capital of Boman Irani is Bmuscat Tehrani."

The women of Twitter have us in splits. They've proved that you don't have to be a stand-up comic to slay on a daily basis.

From current issues to daily irritants, they have it all covered.

Here are some of the wittiest tweets you'll read today or this week or maybe this year.

1.

TV pe show ek dhang ka nahi hai par remote pe button itne hai ki banda aeroplane chala le.

— फ्रु (@Oinkoo) July 15, 2014

2.

Ugh hate it when I suddenly can't wear my torn underwear because I'm in a 'relationship'.

— can you not (@amyoosed) November 7, 2014

3.

me- so lol friendzoning is like rsvp-ing "maybe" to a facebook event invitation

uber driver- pls ask my salary like everybody else

— Crapo (@Creepowoman) September 24, 2015

4.

5.

Me:*cleans house*replaces bedsheets*rolls round rotis*paints grandma's toenails*

Ma: Hum tumhare jitne the tab hum roller coaster banate the

— glistening placenta (@AccioBae) June 5, 2015

6.

On a serious note, Gandhiji is not smiling.

— Poonam Khatri (@poonamkhatri) July 30, 2013

7.

While we are busy changing names & calling Bombay Mumbai & Bangalore Bengaluru, can we do something about Bhosari here in Pune?

— Protima Tiwary (@DumbbellsnDrama) February 25, 2016

8.

9.

10.

When he finally finds your g-spot pic.twitter.com/jgFRLyAW7q

— Priyal (@priyal) October 7, 2015

11.

12.

If you take the words 'Daaru', 'Gaadi' and 'Kudi' out of Punjabi songs, all you would have to listen to is 'oho x10'.

— P (@lovehandle_) April 15, 2013

13.

"i broke my wrist"

facebook: oh my god are you okay should i send food

twitter: how will you masturbate now

— a kite (@pigeonladyX) May 5, 2016

14.

Just did the hand-out-of-taxi-to-feel-the-rain thing from Wake Up Sid and cabbie yelled at me saying "PEHLE BOLNE KA NA RIGHT LENA HAI"

— Crapo (@Creepowoman) June 24, 2013

15.

Jab dono "didn't told" se hain raazi,

Toh kya karlega Grammar Nazi?

— Megha (@ammoloaded) October 17, 2012

16.

"Hasta kya hai be ?"

"Verb"

— no (@mumbaiifreak) October 25, 2013

17.

Bhaiya, puchke mein thoda aur teekha daalo pic.twitter.com/TiUbRQ2p5m

— Princess Consuela (@lady_gabbar) September 10, 2015

18.

Hey @britishairways, here I have made you a new, improved campaign. xoxo pic.twitter.com/mqLDXIDaJs

— Namaah (@The_HappyNoodle) February 16, 2016

19.

20.

*visits Spain*

Local: Welcome to Spain! Como estas?

Me: Bailamos, let the rhythm take you over bailamos

— Likaaaaaaaaaaa (@supaarwoman) April 7, 2015

21.

Daft Punk on the way to work. pic.twitter.com/AqtYgr0icH

— Anuradha (@anuradha_kush) May 20, 2016

22.

Q. How do the Emirati babies cry?

A. "uae uae..."

— Sense of tumor (@dashhtweets) February 25, 2015

23.

24.

25.

"Toh Kya Ukhad loge?" is something you never say to a Dentist

— Priyanka Lahiri (@lahirip) June 13, 2013

26.

27.

28.

Lets take a moment to acknowledge the oddity of Akshay Kumars shaved armpits in this movie.Boat party anyone? pic.twitter.com/Ei8f4aQMQa

— Purva (@thatobesewoman) March 1, 2015

29.

Breaking news : Katrina Kaif was severely injured in an upcoming movie while doing impossible stunts like giving an expression.

— Prajakta. (@SocialBitterfly) September 19, 2014

30.

31.

"I can't believe you're single. I mean, who wouldn't want to go out with you?" "Hey, do you want to go out with m--" "Ooh look aeroplane!"

— Namaah (@The_HappyNoodle) October 9, 2012

32.

Sharmaji ka beta pic.twitter.com/dBSHQ7xtMi

— Sneha Pai (@ClassicallyWild) May 23, 2016

33.

34.

@irvpaswan@SushmaSwaraj Dear Ministers, @Samsung_IN sold me a defective refrigerator, they r not ready to replace pic.twitter.com/G87Jwh6slD

— Venkat (@M_VenkatM) June 13, 2016

Brother I cannot help you in matters of a Refrigerator. I am very busy with human beings in distress. https://t.co/cpC5cWBPcz

— Sushma Swaraj (@SushmaSwaraj) June 13, 2016

35.

36.

37.

iPhone auto backup pic.twitter.com/wpxSOKWogu

— Sandhya Ramesh (@sandygrains) July 31, 2016

38.

Twitter, where you log in saying "Kya ho raha hai?" And log out saying "Ho kya raha hai?"

— Priyanka Lahiri (@lahirip) November 24, 2015

39.

Doctor : where does it hurt?

Me : *shows him tweets with 0 favs and 0 RTs* here

— Lola Kuttiamma (@Priya_Menon) August 20, 2015

40.

If we don't get off the flight within the first 50 seconds of it landing, the flight will take off again with us in it - Indians

— Priyal (@priyal) December 12, 2014

41.

Told the taxi dude to jump the red light and now wondering if he's wondering how wild I am in bed

— can you not (@amyoosed) April 25, 2016

42.

43.

Friend just dropped me to metro station in his white Swift Dzire and I ended up saying "bhaiya trip end kar dena".

— Namelass (@DilliBelle) October 28, 2015

44.

Flights delayed due to fog. One lady tells her husband "next time se we'll go by another airline ok?"

— PollyP (@PolyesterPalla) November 7, 2015

45.

the capital of Boman Irani is Bmuscat Tehrani

— Rega Jha (@RegaJha) February 22, 2016

46.

Ke main hu hero tera ~ Akshay Kumar to about 15 directors in a year

— mediocre gandhi (@drpoonam) August 31, 2015

47.

"Are you a bike or car person?"

"I am a poor person."

— LordAnusHahaha (@TheVacuumHead) July 23, 2014

48.

*Dad reporting missing daughters in police station*

Inspector-any picture of girl ?

*Girl appears from nowhere*

"But pls delete aftr seeing"

— DaaTanchiTaai (@runjhunmehrotra) February 15, 2016

49.

50.

when only the girl's side has paid for the photographer pic.twitter.com/NyssCDRPdn

— Nish De Gea (@RootKanal) June 9, 2015

51.

52.

Office jaake kamao,

Salary dekhke LMAO.

— Madhura (@PunsTurnMeOn) July 29, 2015

53.

54.

At a restaurant -

Me: Excuse me, isme celery bahut kam hai.

Waiter: haha aapki bhi?

Me: haha

Waiter: haha

Me: Crie

Waiter: Crie

— S. (@Kalamwali_Bai) November 13, 2015

55.

56.

57.

Used so much Fair&Lovely on my face that now I can't even walk down the street without winning sports tournaments or getting job offers.

— Cathartic Screams (@Just_Screams) November 4, 2015

58.

Didi tera dewar deewanaaaa

Haye ram kudiyon ko kare sexually harass under the garb of archaic tradition giving his actions legitimacy.

— Peglet (@PedestrianPoet) April 8, 2016

59.

Didn't have my ID card at the club, so just showed the bouncer that I didn't know how to use Snapchat, and he let me in.

— Animisha (@anymysha) May 4, 2016

60.

61.

62.

63.

64.

65.

66.

Sometimes I charge my phone up to 98% and unplug it bcz why should I be the only one who didn't have the orgasm

— 98% (@amyoosed) November 12, 2016

67.

68.

69.

70.

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