Dear Aggrieved Party,
No matter what some people tell you, we owe you an apology. Don't let any intelligent, informed tirade or how-to-not-be-a-moron frazzle you. In fact, turn around, and shout right back at them that you live in India, and no one and nothing, can deny you your right to be stupid. #DemocracyHaiBoss
Because today they have asked you to not be stupid, what if tomorrow they ask you to not pee in public? #TaubaTauba
We want to tell you, we're sorry.
We're sorry that we brought this upon you. This avalanche of a strange, unfamiliar thing called reason. Something that you dislike very much, even more than the ladies' seat in the metro or that bus. Or that new intellectual dengue other men and women talk about - feminism.
We're sorry for the questions that have come your way. Like, why must men wear half pants to the grocery shop and movies, the doctor's chamber and cafes, at restaurants and friends' birthday parties, at chai stalls and parks if women can't wear short skirts to a disco?
We're sorry that the world expects you to explain complicated things. Like the logic behind treating women's legs like a Ram Gopal Verma screenplay and men's legs, as... legs. Or that sense of entitlement that lets you tell women what to wear, where to wear and now, how much to wear. No one had told you before today that all these women are like you only. Same rights and stuff. And unlike in the dowry market that Mummy and Daddy gloat about, the constitution of India has given your genitals no special privilege. Not a single one. #SorryYaar
We're sorry no one recognises your courage - how many times some of you have nearly busted your skull while craning your neck out of an auto. Or tripped on friends' feet, nearly fell off sidewalks, walked into walls in bars when you spotted one of us. Some others have also had to stop their bikes in the middle of roads to comment on legs and other female body parts, despite knowing that it's illegal and can land them in jail. Now how can anyone blame you for thinking life is one long Honey Singh song?
We're sorry they don't get your generosity. And that, contrary to popular belief, you don't discriminate between salwar kameez and shorts, sarees and skirts. Every woman, no matter what she wears, is deserving of your perverse attention or your opinions about her utility in the society.
We're sorry. That we exist. And that we have given you out to the world. You live in a free country where laws are trampled over frequently and the society is still learning to treat women as human beings - and not as deities, objects and possessions. So why can't you be misogynistic, foolish, illogical and somewhat rotten? And claim you're saving the world, Bengal's culture, Chandigarh's patriotism, India's morals, tigers, pandas, paneer and rain forests from extinction by being boors.
We're sorry. For holding up a mirror to you. Because you know, no one likes idiots.
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