In the world of Bollywood, average human beings have a host of impractical powers. Everyone can sing without a single note going awry, all women can dance, all men can send other men flying like frisbees with a punch, cars usually explode only after levitating, dying people cannot die without delivering a lecture and no one believes in the powers of average humans outside Bollywood — like intelligence, or disbelief.
So when the said human beings are made to go without food for an entire day and wait for the moon like it's a One-Plus-Two invite, what do you think happens? Hell. Breaks. Loose.
These victims of hunger and forced moon-stalking, understandably, lose sight of normal human behaviour (which is anyway rare in their world).
Now, stand up in applause for Shah Rukh Khan who put himself through the Bollywood Karva Chauth attack, many times over. Like we have explained, it was possibly not in his power to stop Karva Chauth from looking like a stoner party, the 1000-watt Indian ethnic wear edition. We will provide irrefutable proof of the same below, with three choice examples for SRK's expansive oeuvre.
Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (1995)
Had DDLJ released in this age, this hashtag would have been sure to trend — #YoKajolSoKarva. This was romance, the most sanskaar version ever. Before SRK corrupted us young women with misleading images of silk nighties and heart-shaped balloons in Dil To Pagal Hai, he was a most sanskaari lover in DDLJ. So much so, that when he blew a flying kiss to beau Kajol, she grabbed it and guess what? She smeared it on her hair parting or maang, traditionally reserved for the sindoor.
You, who are not inside Bollywood and probably have a full stomach, will basically see Kajol catching a handful of air (and some bacteria), and rubbing it on her head. And oh, that Shah Rukh Khan, still didn't stop loving her. If you need to set boyfriend goals, this should top your list of priorities - 'boy who doesn't freak out when bae gropes invisible air bacteria'.
Yes Boss, 1997
See, the only words most of us can possible utter after a day of fasting would be 'alive' or 'pizza' (it's the same thing, anyway). And what if someone said this: "We worship a moon which is so far way. But the one which is near us, close to us, we don't even recognise it."
Oh, that would be a fabulous eulogy for pancakes, isn't it? Hunger + pancake craving = cheesiest sentence of the world. We get it.
But no, the subject in question was Juhi Chawla. Who, by the way, showed great strength of character by not hurling the sieve at Khan for calling her the chaand-next-door.
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham (2001)
This film-shaped weapon of mass destruction challenged many notions of human behaviour. One of them being the quality of fashion in hunger-induced hallucinations. Now, even though you can't be sure whether it was hunger or the aftermath of being surrounded by Allied Forces of sequins and chumkis, but Hrithik Roshan had a major hallucination in the middle of a Karva Chauth dancing routine.
Even as Kareena Kapoor in her physics-defying backless choli flitted around Roshan, he could see his parents (who in the film's timeline were in India at that time) gatecrashing the said party. And this was not just any gatecrashing, this was a full colour-coordinated, jewellery OD-ing event of gatecrashing. Not just that Roshan imagined them singing a song right to matching notes with the chorus, they were also seen dancing in sync, not a single choregraphed step out of beat.
If I was crack, I would feel very threatened by Karva Chauth right now.
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