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Eligible For Pakistan's Famous Diwali Celebrations? Here's A Simple 3-Step Guide

10/11/2015 11:59 PM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:25 AM IST
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Hindustan Times via Getty Images
NEW DELHI, INDIA - NOVEMBER 8: Congress workers celebrate after Mahagathbandhan's (Grand Alliance) victory in Bihar assembly elections at AICC, on November 8, 2015 in New Delhi, India. Nitish Kumar said, 'I express my gratitude towards people of Bihar, will try our best to match up with their expectations. We respect our opposition in Bihar; want to work in consensus with everyone to develop Bihar. This victory is big win and we will work towards the grand alliances mandate for the development of Bihar.' Lalu Yadav said, 'BJP had its eyes on Kolkata, the capital of West Bengal. It wanted to move eastwards. Bihar stopped them in tracks. PM Narendra Modi is nothing but an RSS pracharak.' The grand alliances victory is also attributed to the rejection of communal politics, driven mostly by the recent debate over cow slaughter and consumption of beef. Data from the election commission’s website for 240 of the state’s 243 seats showed the RJD-JD(U)-Congress alliance led in 178 seats, an emphatic victory over the NDA that could only win around 59 seats. (Photo by Arvind Yadav/Hindustan Times via Getty Images)

Pakistan is suddenly every Indian's favourite travel destination, going by the number of politicians advising us to visit. Our friendly neighbouring country was highly recommended by Bharatiya Janta Party president Amit Shah, who seemed particularly impressed by the spectacular way in which Pakistanis celebrate Diwali. Since the Bihar Assembly election tsunami, it seems that our neighbours will be marking the festival of lights with even more fervour than usual!

So, if you want to visit Pakistan for Diwali, or just want to eat some good non-vegetarian food (beef, for instance, or Bihari kebabs), here's a checklist of things you have to do to obtain a visa. This simple list is particularly useful for aaptards, libtards, all other types of tards, presstitutes, anti-nationals, jihadis, award returners, adarsh-liberals, sickulars and other forms of low life.

1. Getting to Pakistan

There are no direct flights between India and Pakistan. It will take you over 20 hours because you will have to fly via Dubai, Muscat or Abu Dhabi. A well-known travel agency I contacted doesn't even do flights to Pakistan. When I asked why the polite reply I got from a bored sales rep was, "That's the company policy." So make sure you have lots of time, money and headache pills on hand.

"This simple list is particularly useful for aaptards, libtards, all other types of tards, presstitutes, anti-nationals, jihadis, award returners, adarsh-liberals, sickulars and other forms of low life."

There are train and bus services between the nations, like the "Samjhauta" Express and the "Dosti" bus service, but these are always at risk of cancellation because of terrorist threats, protests and other manmade vagaries on both sides of the border. Yogi Adityanath and Kailash Vijayvargia probably didn't realise how difficult it is for Pakistan lovers to get to Pakistan! Your best bet remains flying 2200km to Dubai and flying back 2000km to Lahore.

2. Getting a visa

This must rank among the most nerve-racking experiences in international travel. A travel agent I spoke to, who will remain anonymous lest she find herself being told to cross the border, said that applicants have to personally visit the Pakistani High Commission in New Delhi. A tourist visa application requires a police attested covering letter/invitation from a Pakistani sponsor, address proof and ID proof. You also need to produce a polio vaccination certificate!

The visa fee is thankfully just Rs 120 per entry. It needs to be deposited at Standard Chartered bank at the Chanakya Puri branch (A/c # 5220 5840 236 favouring High Commission of Pakistan, New Delhi.) The receipt in turn needs to be submitted with the visa documents. To make things simpler here is the link for the visa application forms, since you cannot leave it to your travel agent to procure the visa for you.

It is a painful procedure that has got increasingly difficult over the years. My humble request to the Indian government is to take up the issue with the Pakistani authorities so that anti-nationals desirous of visiting Pakistan can do so more easily. In any case, it is in the Pakistani High Commission's own interests to ease the rush of Indians applying in time for Diwali.

3. Your itinerary (or where you can and cannot go)

Your visa will mention the cities you can visit. You will also need to register with the police in Pakistan, unless you have the foresight to apply for exemption along with your visa application. A report in the Hindustan Times states that a Pakistani visa also lists specified ports of entry and exit, and woe betide people who disregard this.

"Pakistan Tourism will be delighted by the sudden rush of Indians wanting to enjoy their hospitality, now that 76% of Bihar's population is eligible to visit."

The bottom line is that in the last 10 years it has become extremely difficult for Indians to visit Pakistan. Assuming you are one of the lucky "tards" who has managed to make it to the Land of the Pure and want to stay on, getting a visa extension is tiresome. It has to be done through the police and you need to provide strong reasons.

Pakistan Tourism will be delighted by the sudden rush of Indians wanting to enjoy their hospitality, now that 76% of Bihar's population is eligible to visit. They must spruce up facilities so the visitors can get a taste of their famous "mehman nawazi".

So dear fellow Pakistan-lovers, treat this post as just an indicative list. Have lots of patience because I am sure our neighbour is worth visiting, if suddenly so many ministers, members of Parliament and other worthies are recommending it as a travel destination. They probably don't realise how tough it is for most of us to get there. The travel infrastructure is pretty terrible and I humbly request the government to introduce "achche din" to India-Pakistan travel.

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