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I tried hard to please, change, accept and then salvage the situation. That my marriage was a situation that needed salvaging should have been my first reason to quit. But I kept egging myself on. Then slowly it dawned on me that I was losing this fight…
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I would have scoffed at the person who had told me a year back that this is where I would be today -- confident, doing what I love doing and doing it successfully. Change is what creeps up on us unannounced, especially when we are stuck in a rut, and struggling. Who we are and what we will be is decided by how we react to change.
People, all of them western, often counter my amorous accounts of India with "escapism" - the concept of hiding from one's mundane daily life behind a wall of a fascinating but ultimately unsupportable lifestyle - like being in a punk band, or going to India, in my case. But this isn't one of those stories where you hole yourself up in an ashram to try and find something that isn't there or buy a one way ticket to Goa with the purpose of devoting yourself to the rave.