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The devastations and the delights.
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Depression sucks. If you've ever experienced it, briefly or for a long period of time, you know this to be true. Similarly, if you've seen your partner or someone you love experience it, you know how...
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I hope you do not think of me as that woman who can never leave her family of origin behind while she starts one of her own. I would like to think of it as our families joining, melding and expanding to make more room in our hearts and our last names. This is my dearest wish, Aunty. My other wish is to have such a warm relationship with you that calling you "mom" comes naturally and from the heart for me.
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When I was little, my father made sure that I had everything I wanted, from Naturo candy bars to colourful storybooks. Every night, we would sit for hours and talk about my day at school, his favourite Indian comedy shows or my fights with my brother.
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As adults we want to discipline our children and set them on the right path so that they can be successful in life. We teach them values like honesty, forgiveness, tolerance and, above all, to do the right thing. However, in a marriage gone sour or in a divorce we seem to forget all that we taught the children. In fact we behave like extremely spoilt whiny brats who can't look beyond their own nose.
It is something very deep to be understood, something of great significance. Love always brings aloneness. Aloneness always brings love. They are never separate.
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A couple of days ago on Valentine's day The Logical Indian shared a beautiful story of a couple named Jai and Sunitha. The couple had met in the 12th standard, became friends but soon lost touch. Two...
I noticed a shift as I approached my early 20s. People began giving advice about jobs that were "better for women than men." Men could continue to cultivate ambition, independence, and empowerment, while women had to stifle these qualities if they interfered with domesticity. The same girls who were pushed to work hard in school were now being asked when they'd finally settle down and get married.
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Jean-Paul Sartre is not absolutely wrong when he says the other is hell. Alone you can be silent, peaceful. With the other everything becomes difficult, everything becomes a conflict. The very presence of the other makes demands on you. You have to be very compassionate, very kind, to not get caught into an intimate enmity; otherwise the other is going to become a hell to you.
It is so ugly seeing people going to the church or the court to get married. It is so ugly, so inhuman. It simply shows they can't trust themselves, they trust the authorities more than they trust their own inner voice. It shows that because they can't trust their love, they trust the law.
He is the floor manager at a high-end fashion label. He deals with society WAGs, expats and A-listers over slices of toast (whole wheat) and scrambled eggs, everyone is always 15 minutes away -- so waiting is second nature. But the job has its perks too -- party invitations, supermodel friends and the occasional bottle of single malt whisky. The parties and the models can get exhausting, but the single malt never does, he grins.
He looks like a bloated version of a Bollywood heartthrob, which is his only redeeming quality. He looks thinner in his pictures. It's early 2011; everybody looks thinner in their pictures in 2011. He's short, but not too short. He's fat, but not too fat. I am here, but I am not too here. He's fun, but not too... No, wait. He's not fun at all. Do you know what I mean?
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We are a part of a fast-paced and dynamic ecosystem where our wishes are fulfilled through a mere touch of a smartphone screen. Our relationships are public property, to be "shared" with friends and strangers. Often times, love begins, progresses and even ends on social networking sites. We hardly have the time to think about what went wrong or how to make amends or learn from mistakes. The mantra is to "move on" and forget all about past experiences.
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India's most profound view of love is that it be defined by one's knowledge of the other; the emphasis of Indian treatises on love, including the famously elevated -- and excruciatingly dumbed-down -- Kama Sutra, is about anchoring relationships upon an intimate awareness and respect of a partner's personality, desires, thought process, physicality and even the gentlest of nuance. As ever, in the Indian psyche, playfulness subsists hand-in-hand with sanctity, sensuousness with respect, earthly passion with ethereal divinity.
In an attempt to make relationships more satisfying, humans tend to set conditions. In business, conditions help to protect the interests of the risk-taking party. But when set in relationships, conditions uncomfortably strangle the growth of the bond. In fact, conditions and satisfaction are inversely proportional to each other. The more conditions you put in a relationship, the less satisfying it tends to be. However, there are some exceptions...
'Do you watch Downton Abbey?' he asks me suddenly, and I notice the slightest hint of excitement in his voice. Well, at least he likes to adhere to one gay stereotype. I shake my head, and his smile droops a little. Saying that you don't watch Downton Abbey is like saying that you don't shop at the ZARA sale. I avoid telling him that I binge watched through six seasons of Gossip Girl, and download songs from Glee.
He studied at a textile school in Canada and lived there for five years, but ultimately left behind a dozen acquaintances, a start-up job and a live-in girlfriend to move back home. I nod away, without batting an eyelid. I could ask him why he came back. I could ask him what happened to the girlfriend. I could ask him whether he's sure about his sexuality. 'Where are we off to?' I ask him instead.
He's going to shuffle between the business and the auditions, as I shuffle between deciding whether I like him or not. The former shouldn't be too difficult - gay men are quite adept at handling double lives, and this one seems like a professional. The latter will take more time. Or another cappuccino.
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You can sort every gay man you know in either one of these four categories: An ex's ex, a friend's friend, a friend's ex or your ex's friend. It turns out he's all four.
An older cousin was a window to our own futures, setting standards for a younger, aspirational demography of children in at least a couple of houses of the family. From getting princesses in Mario Brothers to real ones in school; from acting guides on how to pluck mangoes to being buffers against bullies in the lane, older cousins were relied on with wide eyes and mouths agape.
He's wearing something you would see on a model at a fashion show. Suspenders and a broach over a crisp button-down navy blue shirt. Paired well with refined wing cap brogues, a shade of dark chestnut, with tan shoelaces- wait, is he wearing a bow tie? Yes. He's wearing a bow tie. What do gay men do best? They accessorize. But it's not caricaturish, like how it is in the movies or Armistead Maupin novels.
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What if the divorces were 'arranged' the way marriages are in many Indian households? For starters, the ceremony would be called Roko instead of Roka. Instead of sweetmeats, karela (bitter gourd) wou...
Online adult retailer, thatspersonal.com, has recently launched, what they consider as their answer to the perennial problem of long-distance relationships: The Vibe 4 Plus, is a vibrator that "connec...
He recently got out of a relationship (that's a red flag.) and though it's only been two months, the ex-boyfriend and him talk from time to time (that's another red flag.). It's okay though, he says, as I frown in surprise - he's only asked me to sleep with him once ever since. (And another one.)
When you ignore the superficialities and explicitness to focus more on the underlying message, it is apparent that there is more to Sex And The City than meets the eye. To take one instance, when Charlotte York, a successful art dealer, proudly decides to quit her career to play the role of a homemaker she justifies her decision by relying on the ideals of feminism -- the movement that is all about empowering women and giving them the right to choose.
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It's a quarter past five, and two weeks of speed-texting and one muffled phone call later, here we are. His eyes are piercing grey, his cheekbones high and hollow, like the insides of a psychopath's heart. He's not unattractive to look at, him with his close cropped hair and his arched eyebrows, and on a good day, I can sulk in the dark recesses of my mind and write a haiku about him.
When two people initially develop a loving relationship, the bond seems uncleavable. But all too often, the love melts away, leaving behind an ugly puddle of contempt. Why do we end up in a situation, where in spite of searching, we are unable to find a single good quality in the person we once loved?
Five Russian couples who visited India to participate in an Art of Living programme last year, were inspired by the purity of a traditional Indian marriage to come back and tie the knot 'Vedic style'...