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I hope you do not think of me as that woman who can never leave her family of origin behind while she starts one of her own. I would like to think of it as our families joining, melding and expanding to make more room in our hearts and our last names. This is my dearest wish, Aunty. My other wish is to have such a warm relationship with you that calling you "mom" comes naturally and from the heart for me.
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When I was little, my father made sure that I had everything I wanted, from Naturo candy bars to colourful storybooks. Every night, we would sit for hours and talk about my day at school, his favourite Indian comedy shows or my fights with my brother.
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As adults we want to discipline our children and set them on the right path so that they can be successful in life. We teach them values like honesty, forgiveness, tolerance and, above all, to do the right thing. However, in a marriage gone sour or in a divorce we seem to forget all that we taught the children. In fact we behave like extremely spoilt whiny brats who can't look beyond their own nose.
It is something very deep to be understood, something of great significance. Love always brings aloneness. Aloneness always brings love. They are never separate.
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A couple of days ago on Valentine's day The Logical Indian shared a beautiful story of a couple named Jai and Sunitha. The couple had met in the 12th standard, became friends but soon lost touch. Two...
I noticed a shift as I approached my early 20s. People began giving advice about jobs that were "better for women than men." Men could continue to cultivate ambition, independence, and empowerment, while women had to stifle these qualities if they interfered with domesticity. The same girls who were pushed to work hard in school were now being asked when they'd finally settle down and get married.
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Jean-Paul Sartre is not absolutely wrong when he says the other is hell. Alone you can be silent, peaceful. With the other everything becomes difficult, everything becomes a conflict. The very presence of the other makes demands on you. You have to be very compassionate, very kind, to not get caught into an intimate enmity; otherwise the other is going to become a hell to you.
It is so ugly seeing people going to the church or the court to get married. It is so ugly, so inhuman. It simply shows they can't trust themselves, they trust the authorities more than they trust their own inner voice. It shows that because they can't trust their love, they trust the law.
He is the floor manager at a high-end fashion label. He deals with society WAGs, expats and A-listers over slices of toast (whole wheat) and scrambled eggs, everyone is always 15 minutes away -- so waiting is second nature. But the job has its perks too -- party invitations, supermodel friends and the occasional bottle of single malt whisky. The parties and the models can get exhausting, but the single malt never does, he grins.
He looks like a bloated version of a Bollywood heartthrob, which is his only redeeming quality. He looks thinner in his pictures. It's early 2011; everybody looks thinner in their pictures in 2011. He's short, but not too short. He's fat, but not too fat. I am here, but I am not too here. He's fun, but not too... No, wait. He's not fun at all. Do you know what I mean?
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We are a part of a fast-paced and dynamic ecosystem where our wishes are fulfilled through a mere touch of a smartphone screen. Our relationships are public property, to be "shared" with friends and strangers. Often times, love begins, progresses and even ends on social networking sites. We hardly have the time to think about what went wrong or how to make amends or learn from mistakes. The mantra is to "move on" and forget all about past experiences.
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India's most profound view of love is that it be defined by one's knowledge of the other; the emphasis of Indian treatises on love, including the famously elevated -- and excruciatingly dumbed-down -- Kama Sutra, is about anchoring relationships upon an intimate awareness and respect of a partner's personality, desires, thought process, physicality and even the gentlest of nuance. As ever, in the Indian psyche, playfulness subsists hand-in-hand with sanctity, sensuousness with respect, earthly passion with ethereal divinity.
In an attempt to make relationships more satisfying, humans tend to set conditions. In business, conditions help to protect the interests of the risk-taking party. But when set in relationships, conditions uncomfortably strangle the growth of the bond. In fact, conditions and satisfaction are inversely proportional to each other. The more conditions you put in a relationship, the less satisfying it tends to be. However, there are some exceptions...
'Do you watch Downton Abbey?' he asks me suddenly, and I notice the slightest hint of excitement in his voice. Well, at least he likes to adhere to one gay stereotype. I shake my head, and his smile droops a little. Saying that you don't watch Downton Abbey is like saying that you don't shop at the ZARA sale. I avoid telling him that I binge watched through six seasons of Gossip Girl, and download songs from Glee.