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Pigeons Go On Strike, Won’t Deliver Messages From Indian Men Anymore

Disgusted with the ‘utter stupidity’ of the messages, especially to women.

06/07/2017 8:45 AM IST | Updated 06/07/2017 3:01 PM IST
Hindustan Times via Getty Images

Pigeons working in the International Messaging Service (IMS) are refusing to deliver messages written by Indian men, saying that they are "disgusted, appalled, and irritated" with the "unoriginality, repetitiveness, and utter stupidity" of the messages that many Indian men write, especially to women.

Earlier this year, in a historical turn of events, pigeons had made a comeback in the communication industry by replacing all forms of new-age digital messaging platforms such as social websites, messengers, chat applications, and so on. Less than six months later, they have gone on a worldwide strike, protesting against the way several men write to women they don't even know.

What I don't understand is the sheer volume of texts I receive from unfamiliar Indian men saying nothing but 'Hi'. I had begun to think maybe it's a cultural thing, like your curries and snakecharmers... Joan, a US-based Quora user

In a letter addressed to the United Nations, Pigeon-in-Chief of IMS wrote, "While it is none of our business what people write in their messages, we refuse to be the carrier of such impolite and frankly annoying one-way human communication. We like your women, and the way they cringe at us when we hand them a message from an Indian man, makes us resent all of humankind." He also added, "Not only are these messages cringeworthy, they are also a huge waste of paper. More often than not, all that these messages say is a casual greeting followed by piles and piles of exclamation points and ellipses. I hereby appeal to the Indian Education Ministry to include my book The Etiquette and Grammar of Messaging Strangers in their school curricula."

The strike has brought close to 80% of all inter-human communication to a screeching halt, as most communication between strangers is made up of monologues from Indian men. Indian men have, in turn, responded by flooding the IMS headquarters with angry letters hurling curses and questions such as:

"Why won't you deliver my message!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Helloooooooooooo...................!!"

"Are you dumbbbb??????............"

"Dieeee bitch.....!!!!!!"

"You're ugly anywayyyy!!....!!!

The content of other letters was found inappropriate for publishing.

Nobody can stop us. Women of the world, watch out, we are going to win you all, one 'Hiiiiii' at a time. President of the Creep Indian Brigade (CIB)

The only people who seem pleased with the protest are women across the globe. Anita, an IT professional from Bangalore, told us, "I get a ton of unsolicited messages each day. They don't bother me anymore since being a woman for so long has insulated me against such behaviour, but it surely is nice to not get creeped out every time I open my inbox these days."

Joan, a writer living in the US, told us in an email, "I write on Quora a lot, which is a website with a lot of Indian users. What I don't understand is the sheer volume of texts I receive from unfamiliar Indian men saying nothing but 'Hi' or 'Hey'. I had begun to think maybe it's a cultural thing, like your curries and snakecharmers, you know." Instagram celebrity and fashion blogger Meghna told our reporter in a friendly chat, "It's especially bad for people like me. When I tell off men for being obscene or impolite in their comments and messages, they tell me that I deserve it for posting pictures of myself in nice clothes and makeup. I don't even..." she refused to complete the last sentence, saying it's a meme and our readers will get it.

The protest was only picking up more steam at the time of going to press. When asked for a comment, President of the Creep Indian Brigade (CIB) said, "We are on Facebook, Quora, LinkedIn, Instagram, anywhere a woman could be—and in the 21st century, that's almost everywhere in the world... well, except the Haji Ali Dargah, Tour De France, Iran's soccer stadiums, certain Hindu temples... you get the drift. Nobody can stop us. Women of the world, watch out, we are going to win you all, one 'Hiiiiii' at a time."

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