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Are You A Bad Mom? Good For You!

15/09/2016 5:50 PM IST | Updated 19/09/2016 10:21 AM IST
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Meet Neha.

According to me and a lot of people I know, she is the perfect person. She's smart, funny and beautiful, both inside and out.

Neha is a successful lawyer. She decided to put her career on hold when she had kids, because she wanted to raise them herself and watch them grow. A hands-on mom, she cleaned every poop they ever made, woke up a dozen times every night for months to tend to her babies, and skipped many meals and baths to make sure her kids got to have their meals and baths on time.

Now is a good time to trash what society thinks of you, hold your head up high and be that bad mom.

She has read every possible book out there on child care in the hope of getting things right and has successfully raised two beautiful children who absolutely adore her.

She, in my opinion, is the ultimate mother.

When Neha decided, after four years of raising kids, that it was time to get back to work, you know what she became? Nope, not a successful lawyer again. Not a working mother of two kids. She became -- the BAD mom.

Being a mom in today's world (and yesterday's world, and the world before yesterday's world) means you are always under the scanner. Everyone has a thing or two to say about every decision you ever make -- your neighbour, your mother-in-law, the acquaintance you just met a minute ago... what's his name again?

So if a father comes home late from the office after a hard day's work, he's a hero; definitely a hard-worker. If a mother comes home late from the office after a hard day's work, she is --yes, you guessed it -- a bad mom. If a father goes on a business trip to America, everyone is happy he's going places. If a mother goes on a business trip to America, everyone decides it is their business to think out loud what a terrible mother she is. The only place she really should go is her home, right?

So listen, you bad mom you, I hate to break it to you, but even if you are not going to go to the office you are going to be judged. Whatever you do, you will ultimately become the bad mom.

You will be judged on why you are depriving your six-month-old baby of the good things in life -- like salt and sugar – and it doesn't matter if the doctors say it is a no-no. You will be judged on why you choose to put your baby in a crib ("they really need the mother's tender touch" you are told). And if you do co-sleep with your baby, you will be judged that you are spoiling your kids too much; I mean, after all, there really is such a thing as being there too much for your six-month-old baby.

Do what you got to do, you bad mom you, and hold on to your happiness. Because, guess what, you can never be good.

If you are exclusively breastfeeding your baby, you will be judged on why you are not giving one "top" formula feed before bed because that really is why your baby is not sleeping through the night -- no it cannot be that the baby is just being a baby, it just has to somehow be your fault. If you are solely formula feeding your baby, you will be judged on depriving him or her of the "miracle milk"; worse still, you'll be told you're making the baby too fat. Some will even start judging you on your milkless breasts, bless their pure souls.

The bottom line is, like it or hate it, you are going to be judged. So now is a good time to trash what society thinks of you, hold your head up high and be that bad mom. Do what you got to do, you bad mom you, and hold on to your happiness. Because you need a happy mom to raise a happy child.

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