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Once Upon A Time, There Was A Chhori Called Gurgawan...

21/04/2016 3:09 PM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:26 AM IST
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Workers labor at the roadside below an elevated track, operated by Rapid MetroRail Gurgaon Ltd., near DLF Cybercity in Gurgaon, India, on Wednesday, March 26, 2014. Indian stocks rose, sending the benchmark index to a record, after the rupee rose to an eight-month high and sovereign bonds gained on speculation the worlds largest democracy will elect a government capable of reviving economic growth. Photographer: Kuni Takahashi/Bloomberg via Getty Images

For long, Gurgaon was chhori Gurgawan, a behenji who loved spending time with buffaloes and her Jat bhais. Once a year during winter, her glamorous cousins, Dilli Billis, would visit her and frolic away in her many picnic spots. She didn't mind her uneventful life before fairy godfather DLF and various cronies set their sights on her and decided she was their future bright. Thus began her grooming, intense sessions at the gym and shopping for a hip wardrobe. Before she could say "kay chal rahya se", she had transformed into a glam diva with a BPO accent.

She turned up her snooty nose at her cousins Kaphasera, Dundhahera, Bhondsi and Jharsa. Her new friends had fancy names like Jacaranda and Magnolia.

She was now Ms Gurgaon who mwah-mwahed with global Fortune 500 companies and sipped Chianti as she swayed to Yo Yo Honey Singh. Dilli Billis could not believe that their behen in two oily plaits was now being wooed by the rich and the famous. The same men who had sworn their undying love for Dilli a few moons back. And why not? Compared to the Billis, she looked shiny, new and so full of life. She had willingly shed her rural past and turned up her snooty nose at her cousins Kaphasera, Dundhahera, Bhondsi and Jharsa. Her new friends had fancy names like Jacaranda, Veranda, Harmonica and Magnolia and looked like Victoria Secret's willowy models from a distance.

Her mercurial rise took many by surprise. She was rich and powerful in no time.

Besotted by her good looks and flirtatious charms, many moved into her welcoming arms, dreaming of a rosy happily-ever-after. Alas, the happily-ever-after lasted as long as a made in China product. It didn't take long for them to realize that her glamour and sophistication were just skin deep. Beneath the layers of makeup and designer threads lay a pockmarked, misshapen, unruly, uncouth chhori. Initially they dismissed her frequent blackouts, wild ways and almost non-existent hospitality as teething problems. They tried their best to ignore the heebie-jeebies she gave them when they were out alone late at night.

Then came her Tau Khattar, her guardian angel, lover of cattle and said Tathastu! I shall set everything right.

Like any loyal lover, they were not willing to give up so easily on her. She was after all their lugai who could not be ditched. They protested, fought relentlessly and demanded she be set right. They had after all lavished their love and riches on her and all they got was disappointment and stress.

It was difficult to come to terms with harsh reality. Was she was just a cauliflower pretending to be a flower?

Then came her Tau Khattar, her guardian angel, lover of cattle and said Tathastu! I shall set everything right. Before her lovers could say phew, he chuckled--if I can't be a game changer, I can certainly be a name-changer. Gaon she was, gaon she will remain. It was you fellows who expected her to be a Mem. She is now your Behen Gurugram. Go dump your high expectations in the nearest open drain. Also, get ready to do yoga all day with Baba Ramdev. Behen Gurugram will now shop for Khadi. From a stylish diva, she has been upgraded to Sanskari.

Behen Gurugram will now shop for Khadi. From a stylish diva, she has been upgraded to Sanskari.

Her lovers are wondering, was leaving Dilli Billi a big mistake?

Gurugram has just updated her Facebook status to "feeling bewildered". Do I have no say in my future? Despite being the third richest in the country, these old men stuck in a past of their making are trying their best to ruin my future.

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