THE BLOG

Don't Say 'Boys Will Be Boys' Unless You Want To Encourage Rape Culture

09/10/2016 4:38 PM IST | Updated 04/11/2016 9:54 AM IST
NEW! HIGHLIGHT AND SHARE
Highlight text to share via Facebook and Twitter
That's it, that's the last straw," said most Americans on hearing Donald Trump brag about repeated sexual assault. Trump aspiring to be the highest office of the nation is heard on a videotape obtained by the Washington Post talking about how he would force himself on women. I apologize, he later said, if anyone was offended. It is unfair to expect reasonable thinking and sensitivity from a man who remarked that fat women are disgusting and recently mocked a disabled reporter.

Brené Brown was dead right in her tweet that to "dismiss Trump's comments as 'guy talk' is an insult to good men and boys."

Trump has no sense of decency. The king of the old boys club feels that his misogynistic diatribes are just very normal locker room banter. All men talk like that. If it is so it's high time we take this club down for good. Not just in America but everywhere, including India.

In fact Trump makes many of our politicians look like statesmen. Glad we don't have any national leader like Trump who thinks it is normal to talk like that, but we do have ones who think "boys will be boys." Our politicians continue to make terrible anti-women statements, getting away with them and not seeing anything wrong with what they've said. Their statements help breed this rape culture. We also should have zero tolerance for such remarks. Until politicians stop speaking that language we won't see real change.

One of the reasons given for rape in India is that women are wearing jeans! Wearing jeans, never mind how much they cover up, is asking for it. The patriarch of a leading regional party once defended rape by saying boys make mistakes , we all did when we were 17, 18 , 19 years old. Why hang them? His comments evoked strong reactions but the mindset continues.

It's high time we raised the bar on expectations from men and women, and stopped using words that are unacceptable and offensive.

When we say "boys will be boys" we are not just tolerating despicable actions, we're actively encouraging them. Examples are everywhere. We all remember growing up with Hindi movies in which otherwise well behaved heroes acted rowdy, causing lots of mischief, and sometimes behaving like bullies, to attract the attention of the heroine. Such a scenario is real life would traumatize a girl or woman. What kind of person would do this? It is downright sexual harassment. But the culture continues. Movies like Raanjhanaa glorify stalking in the name of love.

We often find mothers of young boys smiling dismissively on getting complaints from girls who get picked on by them. Toxic masculinity is the model most men grow up with, to their detriment as well. Every time we shrug it off it gets reinforced that this is not only accepted but expected of men. All of us well-meaning people have a role to play to fix this mindset. Inappropriate behaviour in schools or at home should never be condoned. It's high time we raised the bar on expectations from men and women, and stopped using words that are unacceptable and offensive. Let's teach our kids to behave and talk decently even when speaking privately.

12 Indian Cocktails To Spice Up The Winters

More On This Topic