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The One Fear That's Keeping You From Following Your Heart

10/01/2016 8:36 AM IST | Updated 29/08/2016 9:40 PM IST
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I'm now in my 30s, and have accumulated a bunch of experiences in the journey so far. One tough move for me was to take the plunge and follow my calling. It took me a year or maybe more than that to finally do it. And every time in that one year, my little heart said just do it, my mind told the heart, speak when you're spoken to!

Well it sounds funny now, but back then it got to a point where my mind was the only one talking! It is also strange that most people who think they follow their heart constantly let the mind create doubts and use it as an excuse to question the present until they shred it to pieces. This leads to my question -- what makes the mind so powerful that it restrains the heart from telling a beautiful story?

This one fear is the fear of consequence. It labels, conditions, generalises and sometimes just overuses the "I know" that stems from past experiences...

According to me, it is this one fear that stops you in your tracks when you want to follow your passion, or open your heart to the one you love or make a bold move out of your comfort zone. It encapsulates many other fears, such as the fear of being hurt, the fear of failing, the fear of losing confidence, the fear of rejection, the fear of repetition, the fear of attachment.

This one fear is the fear of consequence. It labels, conditions, generalises and sometimes just overuses the "I know" that stems from past experiences, situations, incidents, which builds a permanent home in our mind and refuses to leave.

I was at my previous company for 11 years with a track record I was quite content with, and the next level role offered to me seemed logically the right and safe way ahead. I couldn't deny that it was a risk for me to leave this field for any other option that was completely new to me at this stage of my life. But my heart fought back this time for my calling. All it knew was I wanted to be a life and health coach even though I knew very little about it at that point.

The only thing that was stopping me from taking the plunge was my fear of consequence.

What if I failed? What if I was wrong? What if I never got that role back? What would people think of me?

It's been three months since I've been a full-time practicing life and health coach and it's been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. It hasn't been a bad start either. I'm an in-house coach for an amazing call centre, have enjoyed the opportunity to be a guest speaker with one of the most respected FMCG companies, had articles published by the Times Of India, Huffington Post and Women's Web... I feel nothing less than blessed and thankful. And what did I start with? My heart.

Yes it happened. It did hurt. Sometimes it still hurts. But what is currently happening is for a reason and a reason could be to move on.

Now you will see how this pattern usually repeats in the love story space for most people. What if I get hurt? What if it turns out like before? What if it breaks my heart? What if my trust is broken? What if it doesn't work out?

"Fear of consequence" can make the lens so blurred that it keep us away from some of the happiest moments we don't give ourselves the grand permission to enjoy. Be it love, passion or an experience out of our comfort zone.

Here are a few things we can start doing now:

  • Don't let the past be the lens for your current situation. Yes it happened. It did hurt. Sometimes it still hurts. But what is currently happening is for a reason and a reason could be to move on. So give it a fresh start without judging it with past experiences.
  • Unlearn to feel the present. The present is a new catalyst, a voice that gives us a new perspective. Sometimes the same vision, the same journey could use a different perspective. To invite that we need to unlearn what we know and be that kid again who is learning to cross the road for the first time.
  • Accept that you may not "know". Drop the ego that stems from labelling. "I know" generalises every human being and slots every experience into a box without respecting individuality and uniqueness that is deeper and shines beyond actions.
  • Keep it light. Over-analysing is what our past trains our mind to do. We spend our maximum energy in analysing and creating barriers that don't even exist. Not only that, with that intense energy we constantly question the present with every ounce of the past till we remove every possible joy it could have given us.

So let's open our heart, without any fear, to deeply connect with something or someone that we love. Feel it. Embrace it. Experience it. Trust it. Before we use our mind to destroy it. Because the only truth we know today is that this is what we love now.

Eat. Breathe. Smile.

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