Toddlers

Alberto Ruggieri

No One Is Listening Until You Fart

Farts are funny. Talking to your toddler about farts is even funnier. They laugh when they fart as it is a funny feeling. And also a kind of relief. They giggle and they announce proudly that they have farted. They announce even louder when it's you who has farted.
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The Bedtime Trap

As you enter the bedroom, you turn the big light off and turn on the night lamp -- only to be impaled by a shrill scream of protest. The kid knows what you are up to and the kid won't take it lying down. You use your calming voice but you can barely hear yourself. So you use your calming voice a little more loudly. Your adversary smells weakness and ups the pitch of protest. You turn to the one weapon that only you have -- superior physical strength.
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Co-Sleeping With The Enemy

The luminous digital bedside clock says 01:00. I know, because I'm wide away nursing my right cheek bone with ice. That's going to be one heck of a bruise, I think to myself. Without making a sound, I turn around and glare at the culprit. He's sprawled on his back, his arms folded behind his head as if he's lying on beach chair in Hawaii. His legs are still twitching, probably an after-shock from the encounter from my now bruised cheek.

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