Now that the idea of Donald Trump being President of USA has finally sunk in, let us take a moment to seriously reflect on what the days ahead might hold for the world. While many pundits will prophesize on what to expect, here I round up five ideas around what not to expect from the Trump presidency.
1. Respect for women
When a clash between a woman candidate and the "locker-boy" results in a victory for the latter, you know what's in store. In essence, it's one step for mankind, one giant leap backwards for womankind.
2. ISIS as the scariest thing in the world
With Trump in power, we now have something more powerful than ISIS to keep us quaking in our boots. A Trumpocalypse looms ahead. Unfamiliar with that word? A Trumpocalypse comes in the form of a giant orange balloon of obnoxiousness that causes hatred to rise in hearts around the world. Oxford dictionary please make note.
3. Controversy-free presidency
Yes, how bored we were with the grace, charm and love the Obamas exuded in their eight years in the White House. Now that the White House is white again, we can brace up for colourful stories coming out of it. Starting with locker room boys' talk and some leaked tapes perhaps?
4. Brown bridges
Even as Trump spoke of building walls and wore his racism on his sleeve, many Indians were happily day-dreaming of a shower of green cards. Yes there will be some back slapping and high fives, but we may yet be short-changed.
As for what to expect? Let's hope for President Trump to be as entertaining as he was in the run-up to the elections. Four years of binging on popcorn for everyone! (That's the only way to survive Trumpocalypse.) Also, please do be vigilant, very vigilant of your rights and those of everyone else around you.
PS: Remember PM Modi's Star Wars moment—"may the force be with you" – a couple of years ago? My imagination is going wild wondering which Bollywood line Trump might pick when he visits India. Have any ideas? Shout out on Twitter @nazia_e if you do!