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20 Signs That You Don't Give A Hoot About Fashion

29/05/2016 12:58 AM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:27 AM IST
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Girl with smeared red lipstick.

To a woman who is a fashionista, my wardrobe might look a tad boring. That does not mean that my lifestyle is! In my growing up years, between books, hobbies, friends, family, a budding career and carefree chortles, everything else seemed to get into order except a stylish closet. Here's a teeny-weeny list of 20 things that indicate you might, like me, be a person with a "minimalist" taste in fashion.

1) You think a low-maintenance hairstyle is the best and anything else is a waste of time. Letting tresses fall loose, a ponytail or a bun is enough to last a lifetime. Curlers, straighteners, chic hairpins or bands are unearthed from the depths of your bottom drawer only as emergency measures for situations where decking up is compulsory.

2) Wearing glasses is just simpler than putting on contact lenses every morning, unless perhaps it's your wedding and the frames clash with the Kundan jewellery foisted on you lovingly by your mother. Why the heck must anyone trade comfort for style?

3) Your head spins at the thought of matching handbags with outfits. Two or three bags in safe colours and in a couple of styles are more than enough to fit at least 90% of occasions, thank you very much.

Wearing glasses is just simpler than putting on contact lenses every morning, unless perhaps it's your wedding and the frames clash with the Kundan jewellery...

4) High heels sound fascinating but despite owning a pair or two of them, there's nothing like slipping into comfortable shoes or slippers.

5) When you do decide put on high heels for a party, you end up regretting it within an hour or so as you totter and teeter around the room. Back at home, the first thing you do is toss them aside and thank the stars for the wonderful floaters you have waiting by your bed.

6) Your wardrobe is dominated by jeans (often in similar shades of blue) and ordinary t-shirts, with perhaps a few stylish dresses weeping with loneliness in a couple of hangers pushed to the side. Dressing up for an outing with friends means a loose shrug and a pair of sunglasses to add to the everyday ensemble, while a coat thrown on top comprises semi-formal wear.

7) Earrings, rings and neck pieces look best in a locker that you open up not more than once or twice in a year. On a regular day, a wristwatch (or maybe a bracelet coupled with your much-guarded wedding ring) is your only adornment.

8) But you aren't completely hopeless. Since wristwatches make it to your list, you might just have a collection of interesting dials!

9) Most of the accessories you've got in your treasure trove are gifts from family or friends. You think it's wasteful to spend money on trinkets.

If some women paint their faces with all the precision of a Japanese miniaturist, you're more of a Jackson Pollock yourself.

10) A shopping expedition may include a long list of things, ranging from gourmet items to the latest bestsellers. But you'll be giving the make-up counter and trendy boutiques a pass.

11) You can just about figure out how to apply lipstick and eyeliner. You hear friends and magazines rave about various mousses and gels and concealers and primers but you're not so sure you could identify them in a line-up.

12) What's it with all those gazillion types of make-up brushes? If some women paint their faces with all the precision of a Japanese miniaturist, you're more of a Jackson Pollock yourself.

13) Oh, when you say an eye-liner, it's black you are talking about and when you say lipstick, you mean about three shades total in your vanity box.

14) Yes, you did watch a magical YouTube tutorial on make-up and decided to try it out. You didn't transform into Aishwarya Rai, but turns out you might have career prospects as the make-up technician for the local circus.

15) Soap and moisturizer are quite enough for your beauty regimen. Tonics, lotions, potions, eaus and parfums make you giddy, and not in a good way.

16) You're a nail nudist - no array of colours for you. And you can't be bothered to maintain long talons, even if you do admire them on other people.

17) Packing for a holiday is easy-peasy. You have a short and sweet list of items to carry which can be packed in minutes.

You may have considered colouring your hair on occasion, but you've likely decided that a natural progression to salt-and-pepper in the right look for you.

18) You give blank looks to people talking about fashion brands like Prada, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Chanel and likewise. This is the kind of conversation you have nothing to contribute to.

19) You may have considered colouring your hair on occasion, but you've likely decided that a natural progression to salt-and-pepper in the right look for you.

20) "Who has time for all this?" is your favourite justification for eschewing fashionable things you can't handle dexterously. Saying this makes you feel less guilty about thumbing your nose at fashion. Besides, you love that you can be so carefree.

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