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7 Things I Now Know About Effective Change

19/01/2016 8:38 AM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:25 AM IST
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As universal as change is, it is still the most feared aspect of life. I would have scoffed at the person who had told me a year back that this is where I would be today -- confident, doing what I love doing and doing it successfully. Change is what creeps up on us unannounced, especially when we are stuck in a rut, and struggling. Who we are and what we will be is decided by how we react to change.

Our attitude towards change matters, the manner in which we react to change matters, what and sometimes who changes matters, and finally when nothing else changes, that fact that we do change matters. Something has to change; only a tree can stay rooted in a spot, and none of us are trees. A lot of things we need to let go of, and another lot we need to adapt to or adopt. We have to be accepting of the change around us. Basically change is what defines us, and determines our lives in so many ways. It is very important to know how to deal with change.

1. Letting go and holding on

While we change, we must remember to not hold on to others, to give them space because along with us they change too. We are just holding on to images, memories, and our idea of people, not them in actuality.

Growing up, masks falling off, new learnings are all catalysts to change.

Growing up, masks falling off, new learnings are all catalysts to change. We need to embrace new opportunities, and take new challenges head on. And our constant cheerleaders and companions will never leave us, however much the change affects them or us, because they have lived the change with us. Take a look and find out who are those soul mates, those people; friends, families, loved ones who are a perfect fit in our imperfect lives, the anchors of our existence.

2. Leave behind legacies

The legacies we leave are defined by the choices we make. It is always easy to take the easy route, decide to please all, what sets us apart is our dream and working towards it. Recognising what we need to do, and standing by our choice. Never giving up though people around us might try to demoralise us. Knowing that we need to do what makes us happy first, and everything and everyone else just comes later. Who knows what the next try might bring us?

3. You cannot be "nice" all the time

Should you be nice? The answer to that question is yes and no. I have realised that being nice is not always good for us. It can actually be our biggest roadblock. Sometimes we have to have the sense to differentiate between things that are good for us and the rest of the stuff. At the same time it does not mean that we can be rude and arrogant.

I have realised that being nice is not always good for us. It can actually be our biggest roadblock.

A good person is powerful yet graceful and knows very well that humility and hard work are both key to sustain anything. I try to hold on to the positive and let go of the negative, my happiness is in my hands now.

4. Redefine priorities

Everyone is different, has different priorities and will not always like us and that is fine. I cannot conform to everyone's expectation of me, and not everyone can live up to my expectations. The key here is to be comfortable in our own skin, that when opinions and expectations, even our own, cease to matter.

Second chances are very valuable, so let's appreciate one when we get it and be very judicious while handing them out.

I figured out that we all are broken in some way or the other, and that is okay, it is just not my responsibility to fix it all. We don't go do everything for everyone, especially when they do not respect us in return. I try to give back what I get tenfold if possible; respect where we get respect, trust where we get trust, love where we get love and faith where we get faith. The most important thing to remember is that respect and trust cannot be mutually exclusive.

5. Surround yourself with love

There are some people I cherish, who I'd drop everything for, just because they need me to and that is reason enough. They are the ones that are the exception to every rule. They are my friends, my family, the ones who struggle along with me, the ones who have grown with me, the ones who have changed with me. They are the people who bring out the best in me, and I hope every day that I do the same for them.

6. Accept mistakes, respect second chances and learn from failures

I know that I can be wrong and can make mistakes. Just accepting that makes it so much easier but life does not give second chances easily. Second chances are very valuable, so let's appreciate one when we get it and be very judicious while handing them out. Rather than doing the same old thing be someone's catalyst for change, maybe? When we fail, keep trying, eventually we will get where we are meant to be. It is always better late getting there than never.

7. Don't let change take away your passion

The most important thing is, in the words of Julia Child, is to "Find something you're passionate about and stay tremendously interested in it." The rest will just work itself out. After all, the more things change, the more they remain the same.

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