An Open Letter To The Guy Seeking A Virgin Girl

03/07/2015 8:25 AM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:25 AM IST
An Indian Muslim woman gets her hands decorated with traditional henna designs at a roadside stall ahead of the Muslim festivities of Eid al-Fitr, in Mumbai on July 28, 2014. Muslims around the world are preparing to celebrate the Eid al-Fitr holiday, which marks the end of the fasting month of Ramadan. AFP PHOTO/ INDRANIL MUKHERJEE (Photo credit should read INDRANIL MUKHERJEE/AFP/Getty Images)

Hi Mr Righteous

After the other day's meeting and greeting, I am mighty impressed with your "fusion thinking". Earlier I didn't pay attention to your bio data but after meeting you in person, I was literally drawn towards it. You know why? Because I wanted to understand your mind.

On paper your academic qualifications look impressive. That's actually the reason why my parents shortlisted you in the first place. I am sorry to say after our meeting I have come to the realisation that while you may be an educated man, you are not an aware one. You want a beautiful and professional girl. Nothing wrong with that. Yet going by your 10-minute-long monologue on the subject, your most important consideration is that your future spouse be an untouched virgin. I must say I found your thinly disguised questions extremely intrusive and humiliating. You are a rank stranger to me for and you were completely out of line. Are you even looking for a life partner? Clear that in your mind first.

I think only two kinds of people would have this fixation on virginity. One possibility is that you've never had a girl in your life and don't even know how to talk to them and thus want someone who will not see your fears or weaknesses. The other is that you've had so much "action" that you crave a woman who is totally naïve. Either ways it's sickening.

Now coming back to the girl's virginity. There is some confusion. Do you only mean physical virginity? FYI, I lost my mental virginity to Tom Cruise when I saw him in Top Gun.

What if your "virgin" wife thinks about someone else when you two get intimate? Will that be ok with you? Does that account for infidelity? Think about it.

Again, cosying up, going on dates, hanging out together is acceptable, right?

Your future wife could ask you the same question. Are you virgin By the way? Biologically, you cannot really prove your "purity"? Hmm? There is no test, alas. Have you said some oath? I Perhaps you have "saved" yourself for that special someone. The point is, can you prove it? Can you?

Your whole idea of a good life partner hangs on a petty issue. It's not the character of the girl that you suspect. It's your upbringing, your values and your mindset that reflect in your actions. You are well aware of the fact that a boy's virginity can neither be tested nor proved. So why not put the whole burden of being righteous on the poor girl? Make her life a living hell. Let her feel guilty for the rest of her life. Control her every action, her life, every single breath she takes. It is an extremely effective and socially accepted way of suppressing your life partner. Question her purity and you hold the command. What a convenient way to dominate your partner!

It would have been nicer if you would have asked for an HIV test. It's more logical and progressive. You might say that I am being too open-minded or westernised. So be it. I am in no way advocating promiscuity (which accordingly to you all is the definition of being modern and westernised). Testing would have earned you few brownie points and lots of respect. I will have to admit, you not only failed miserably at being a prospective life partner but are ineligible for being even a friend.

I can just hope that one fine day someone knocks some sense into your head and clears all the cobwebs. Until then, god bless you.

Yours truly,

A beautiful, successful girl who is never going to be your wife.

PS: This virginity test can fool you. Don't believe me? Just Google Hymenorrhaphy.

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