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These are weird times we live in, so the Christmas gifts you give should reflect that.
That’s why HuffPost Weird News is here. We’ve not only combed the world looking for the strangest gifts, but we’ve blow-dried it and even put in a little gel to keep it in place. (You want weird gifts, you have to deal with weird metaphors.)
Whether it’s an Borat-style reindeer mankini, a triceratops taco holder or a statue of Donald Trump tweeting on his toilet, there’s something for every level of weirdness.
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Oh, and if you’re looking for ugly Christmas sweaters, check out our guide on those here.
Christmas Tree Costume
For some people, ugly Christmas sweaters aren't enough to express their enjoyment of the holiday season. So here's a Christmas tree costume. Of course, an intervention might be more helpful. It's a Christmas cry for help!
Pillow Hat
The best inventions solve a problem people never knew existed. The Pillow Hat helps people who are tired of their pillow slipping out from under their head or, I suppose, who are prone to fainting spells.
Rudolph Mankini
This mankini is the perfect gift for people who think the animated classic "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" didn't go far enough in depicting the romance between Rudolph and Clarice.
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Upside-Down Christmas Tree
You may be a tree traditionalist, but, frankly, the design of this artificial upside-down tree is better suited toward showing off ornaments where the human eye will see them best. Take that, nature!
Inflatable Humping Reindeer
Who knew giant inflatables could be so educational about the mating habits of reindeer? I suggest you have the "facts of life" conversation with your kids before you inflate this.
Freak Show Hat
Normal ski masks are so, ugh, normal. This one's a little freaky for sure. Even freakier is the request on the website on how to use the product: "Wear it [at] a fancy dressing ball or a wild party," but "don't use it as a terrorist."
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Weed Earrings
Although the baggies only contain oregano, these weed earrings are the perfect gift for the budding entrepreneur in states where marijuana is legal.
Licki Brush
Sure, brushing your cat is a great bonding ritual, but nothing says loving like a good tonguing. The unfortunately named Licki Brush allows you to groom your cat's fur the way nature intended: with a giant piece of floppy rubber.
Shotsticks
Doing shots is a great holiday tradition, but even if you start them at the same time, not everyone finishes at once. The Shotstick avoids that serious time management problem by making everyone take their shot from a single plank that holds up to six shot glasses at once. Yes, it gets messy. What's your point?
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Toilet Donald
Imagine waking up at 3 a.m. and seeing this Toilet Donald statue angrily tweeting about some imagined slight. Oh, sorry. That's a nightmare.
Triceratops Taco Holder
It is a generally accepted truth that tacos taste better when eaten off the back of a triceratops. Actually, that's not generally accepted at all, but no one can turn down a taco from a dinosaur, right?
Zappa Costume And Box Set
Sure, Frank Zappa made great music, but he also makes for a great costume. This Zappa costume and mask can make for interesting role-playing on New Year's Eve. Even better, it comes with a thumb drive featuring six complete concert performances from 1977. Zappa fans might squawk that we're burying the lede by focusing on the costume and not the concerts, but, hey, it's weird gift guide, not a great music guide.
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Trump Toaster And Impeach Jam
Looking for a gift for the person still feeling burned by the 2016 election? Want something special for the person who thinks Trump is toast in 2020? This Trump toaster burns the face of The Donald on one side of bread, with "You're Fired!" on the other. The product's website also sells "Impeach Jam."
Praying Mantis Angel
This praying mantis statue definitely offers a new angle on angels. If the recipient looks at you incredulously (a good possibility), just look beatifically at the sky and say, "the Lord does work in strange and mysterious ways."
Fish Sandals
Fish sandals. Two words you never realized sounded so good together until you read them just now.
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Experience Tube
Sometimes, you just want a one-on-one conversation with another person, but can't find any privacy. The Experience Tube makes that possible: Each person tucks their head into the tube. Trust me: No one will come near you when you're wearing this.
Fake News Necklace
The most annoying phrase of the year is now a lariat necklace. This lovely piece of jewelry looks sharp whether you're combing conspiracy websites looking for proof that Pizzagate really happened (it didn't) or need something stylish to wear to the Trump rally.
Star Trek Next Generation Tiki Mugs
This collection of tiki mugs -- modeled on the mugs of various characters from "Star Trek: The Next Generation" -- is perfect for the person who loves foofy drinks and '90s sci-fi. As Jean-Luc Picard might say: "Make it so ... alcoholic."
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Sorting Hat
Even a Muggle will appreciate this sorting hat straight from the Harry Potter books. Appreciate it enough to wear it out in public? Can't have everything.
Die Hard Christmas
Everyone with half a brain and a lot of firearms know that "Die Hard" is the greatest Christmas movie ever. This novelization takes the film's basic plot and puts it into a "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" rhyme scheme. Try reading this to the kids on Christmas Eve and blowing their minds.
Naughty Toy Soldier Costume
I honestly can't tell if this is supposed to be a sexy toy soldier or a sexy version of "The Nutcracker." Could be both.
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Baby Got Back Gift Wrapping
www.getgiftrap.com
Gift wrap is a crucial part of the holiday gifting experience, but, sadly, most wrapping paper doesn't show any respect for old school rap classics like "Baby Got Back," "O.P.P." or "Whoomp! There It Is." Finally, someone got it right: Each sheet of paper includes the complete lyrics to a classic rap song.
www.getgiftrap.com
www.getgiftrap.com
The Mombag
If the fanny pack must come back, let it be in a design that celebrates a mom's stretch marks. The Mombag can hold all of life's essentials while celebrating motherhood's effect on the body.
'Game of Thrones' Tree Topper
Stars on trees are so 2016. This "Game of Thrones" tree topper, complete with fire-breathing dragon, is the best way to let your family know that winter (and Christmas) is coming.
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Singing Pasta Timer
Figuring out whether pasta is ready is one of life's hassles, requiring a person to repeatedly pick spaghetti out of a boiling pot and fling it against a wall. Wouldn't it better to have a singing piece of plastic to let you know? Please don't answer that. I can't hear you anyway.
Walking Dead Lucille Bat
At Christmas, we take time to remember important virtues like peace, love and goodwill towards others. But just remember, a zombie attack could destroy all that in a second, so keep this Walking Dead Lucille Bat nearby (just in case).
Santa Flask
Putting up stockings on Christmas Eve might be a tradition in your house, but these boot-shaped party flasks are a lot more utilitarian.
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Red Solo Cup Tree Ornament
Christmas ornaments should reflect something about the owner. Having a red Solo cup hanging on the tree is a way to always remember those times you can't remember drinking too much.
Talking Donald Trump Statue
Just what everyone wants for Christmas: A Donald Trump doll that spouts 17 of the trademark phrases he repeats at all of his rallies. Give this to a Trump supporter at your own risk, because they will keep pushing the button in order to push your buttons.
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Gunsticles
Gunsticles are metal balls in the shape of testicles designed to be attached to a gun. They serve no purpose whatsoever, other than to: A) tell others you have "balls," and B) letting others at the gun range easily spot the tool.
Kentucky Santa
Santa is known for his red suit, but when Christmas is over, he apparently gets excited watching college sports -- especially Kentucky basketball. I wonder if he's in a betting pool with any of the elves.
Hidden Door
It's not for everyone, but you know there is at least one person in your life who would love a hidden door. Bonus points if they are a legit mad scientist. Negative points if they operate a meth lab.
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Donut Yoga Mat
If Marge Simpson wants to get Homer to try yoga, she could do worse than this yoga mat featuring doughnuts. Mmmm, doughnuts.
Grillbot
This grill-cleaning robot scours all the gunk off a grill and makes a terrible racket to boot. I promised my neighbor I wouldn't run it at 3 a.m. again.
DNA Wine
Know someone who is really picky about their wine, but doesn't know why they like what they like? Let DNA do the dirty work. The Vinome wine club selects wine based on the flavor preferences found in certain gene markers. The DNA spit test can help determine if the drinker is partial to bitter flavors, fruity flavors, and certain types of reds or whites. It worked for me and determined I like wine. Lots of it! Thank you, science!
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Smartphone Disco Ball
It's a common dilemma: A dance party breaks out and no disco ball can be found. A problem that has plagued generations has been solved thanks to this portable disco ball powered by your smartphone. I bet someone gets a Congressional Medal of Honor for this.
Vape Kit
Santa has often been pictured with a pipe, but, honestly, there's no way he can be that jolly smoking tobacco. This vape, perfect for states where marijuana is legal, allows St. Nick to get high on both dry herb or cannabis concentrates.
Really Expensive Gold Gnome
For some people, it's the thought that counts. For others, it's the price tag. For those conspicuous consumers, there's this gold-plated gnome, which sells in excess of $300. Emphasis on excess. Looking for the perfect gift for a leader of the free world who loves everything gold-plated? This is your Huckleberry.
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Portable Bidet
Toilet paper is so unrefined, especially compared to the soothing feeling of warm water going where the sun isn't shining. The Superior Bidet supposedly turns any toilet into a classy European-style bidet, but, to be honest, we just think the photo is hilarious.
Shirt With Giant Pocket
Pockets on T-shirts are usually useless: too small and too loose to hold anything of value. That's not a problem with these Pocket Pioneer shirts. They can hold snacks, contraband, small animals, cans of beer and a phone -- everything but your emotional baggage. Nothing will hold that. Sorry.
Supreme Court Justice Candles
Candles are a popular Christmas gift, and this one, featuring the images of Supreme Court Justices Sonia Sotomayor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan should light a fire under women planning a career in a law.
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Recoil Shooting Game
Sometimes you just don't want to leave home to play a shooting game. Recoil uses a portable Wi-Fi hookup and smartphone apps to turn any house or backyard into a laser tag facility. If you want to charge your neighbors $5 for 10-minute games, we can't stop you.
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