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I didn't know what to do during lunch breaks, while travelling back home in the Tube, while waiting for my floor during the long elevator ride. There was suddenly a big void in my hours that seemed hard to fill. By the end of the third day, I was certain it was a stupid experiment. But at the end of first week, something wonderful happened.
I asked you the question I wasn't supposed to, and the discomfort of your expression, the abrupt pause in the flowing chitter-chatter was just too evident. The meeting ended in a whirl after that and we quickly parted ways, unable to cope with the uncomfortable silence. And as I hugged you tight one last time before we turned to say goodbye I wanted to whisper in your ear: It's OK.
The best way to break this cycle of guilt and disappointment is to give up on vague, unattainable aspirations and make some realistic resolutions instead that are easier to stick to and more meaningful.