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5 Reasons You Should Have A Kid

17/04/2015 7:58 AM IST | Updated 15/07/2016 8:25 AM IST
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If you're an Indian woman, married for over nine months and are still not pregnant, you're probably spending a good deal of time swatting the "good news" question. Its possible that you know your mind one way or another and that's great. Or it could be that you're on the fence about "that whole baby business" (as my cousin calls it) and need a persuasive argument to swing your vote.

If you're tired of hearing flimsy (and sometimes film-sy) arguments and would rather have a list of measurable benefits, I've got just the one for you. By the end of it you'll be so convinced, you're going to recommend motherhood to total strangers--I know I am doing it right now!

1. Pain--What's That?

You've heard a thousand times that there's no pain like labor pain. And you've heard right. You could go for a planned C-Sec (yes, you can) but they won't tell you about the pain in the stitches for days afterwards. Its not as violently painful as labor, but its no walk in the park. How do I know? I've had both--and I have only one kid. Add to that an episode of pain from kidney stone (which they say is second only to labor pain). Suffices to say that at this point I am pretty much indestructible. If the situation ever came up, I could suture my own wounds like Rambo. And because I am a mommy, I can do it while singing a lullaby.

2. Exercise And Messing With The Spacetime Continuum

If you, like me, find exercise enormously boring, having a kid will automatically help you meet your fitness goals. The clock ticks a little louder for all moms--counting the minutes to the next feed, school bus pick-up, exams, dance practice etc. When a mom goes for a half hour walk, she'll try to finish it sooner by walking faster. When I jog, I usually whoosh past everyone else on the track because I am inevitably running late for some offspring related responsibility. Increased intensity in less time is the latest fitness trend and as a new mom you'd be totally with it.

3. Smells And Other Offensive Matters

If you are queasy about bodily stuff, having a kid will cure you for life. You'll be poked, prodded and tweaked by the nurses and doctors, and often without warning. At some point you'll graduate from being outraged to looking out of the window and whistling. Once the baby arrives, in no time you'll be discussing "the poop scoop" of the day, critically analyzing the color, texture and consistency with your partner--at the dinner table. I for one have learned to dive and catch projectile vomit in my cupped palms and I can do it with the agility of Rahul Dravid.

parenting and depression

4. Breathing Exercises

As soon as you get preggers you'll sign up for every pre-natal class in your neighborhood and/or will google the heck out of the word "Pregnancy". One of the things you'll learn are breathing exercises. I used to think they were useless. I was wrong. It didn't occur to me to use them during labor since I was kinda busy screaming like a banshee and giving "bhagwan ka vaasta" to the doctors to give me an epidural. But the breathing exercises have come in handy on all sorts of other occasions. For example, just yesterday I had to move the sofa to get to a grape that my daughter had dropped behind it (and By God! she wanted that grape back!). So I sat on the floor, took a deep breath and puuuuusssshed the sofa. I tell you, I couldn't have done it without the helpful coaching of a pre-natal expert.

5. Knowledge And The Long Wait For Wisdom

Its not all about physical strength, I assure you. Having a baby is also very rewarding mentally, especially if you make it out of the first year's fog. By the third year, you'll gather nuggets of seemingly random information by simply trying to keep up with the speed of the kid's questions. For instance, I know more about makes of cars and names of dinosaurs than ever before. This may seem like useless information, unless of course I walk into a party, run into a dinosaur and have to introduce it to someone without getting its name wrong (a social situation I always dread). I bet that if you opened up my brain, it would look like my kid's box of Legos. There's information of shapes and sizes in there and while I may not know how it all fits together, I am pretty sure it does.

There you have it. If this promise of total body-mind improvement won't help you make up you mind nothing will.

Good luck!

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