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Why New Motherhood Can Make You Feel Stupid

People keep telling you what to do!

16/02/2017 4:50 PM IST | Updated 18/02/2017 10:31 AM IST
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Whoever said that pregnancy and giving birth are the toughest challenges a woman has to endure didn't experience the first steps into mommy-hood. While carrying and bringing a baby into the world involves physical strength, taking care of a newborn needs as much mental stamina.

Listen to the tips, but don't let them make you doubt yourself as a mother. You know what's best for your child!

While many women take to motherhood with ease, for others, this is a phase that nibbles into their confidence, to the point that they doubt their maternal skills and very often feel stupid about their choices. If you're a new mommy and you're inflicting this upon yourself, then you're not alone. There are many others going through something similar. Here are some situations which might make you feel doubtful, but be assured, it's completely normal.

Mommy brain

This isn't a made-up term. Mommy brain is very real, and many women go through it. Becoming a mother, with all the hormonal churning that it entails, affects both your body and mind. If you're a new mom and you find yourself sleep deprived despite getting your full quota of Zs, don't blame yourself or assume that you've become lazy. It's mommy brain syndrome at work. Also, if you seem to forget things a lot or repeat yourself, you know what could be triggering it. So, don't feel stupid if you forget to season that lasagne you're baking. It could be just "mommy brain" in action!

Wailing woes

Is your baby wailing like there's something major bothering them? Are you unable to figure out why? They're fed and clean... so what could it be? Relax, it could be any one of any reasons. If your baby has recently been vaccinated, even that could trigger bouts of inexplicable wails. In fact, your infant might even cry because it's either too hot or too cold, or simply because they want to be held. You might have just fed them while they may not have been hungry. Whatever the case is, trust your maternal instincts and don't let anything make you feel like a bad mother, because, you're not. Depending on what you feel could be the possible reason, you could try holding your baby, or feeding them. Soft music also works! The key is not to feel that you're stupid, but to trust yourself more.

Comparisons galore

The problem with hanging out with other new mommies is comparison! "Oh, your baby hasn't started smiling yet? Mine smiles at least ten times a day!" You'll get to hear a lot of such absurd comparisons. Height, weight, teeth, burps, farts, and poops might be compared, leaving you either glowing or red-faced. The point is different babies grow differently, some start rolling over soon, while some are just laid back! Therefore, if your baby isn't growing as fast as the others, it's fine! As long as they are healthy, there's nothing to be worried about, and it's got nothing to do with your mommy skills.

Messy house

With a new baby, you'll find yourself having to clean poop, pee, and vomit a lot more than you clean yourself, so let's keep the house aside for a moment. If your house gives you the impression that there's been a seven magnitude earthquake, fret not. You have a newborn that needs most of your attention, so the time you have left is the time you need to give yourself. The "spare" time is when you eat, sleep, and cram everything else in. A messy home isn't ideal, but you just made eyeballs, ears, kidneys, and other stuff and delivered them in the form of a cute baby, so a messy house is forgivable. Don't feel bad about it. Better still, just ask for help!

Oh-so-anxious relatives

Relatives are such a lovely bunch of people. Till the time, of course, your little bundle of joy arrives. As soon as that happens, they swarm in and bombard you with tips you're sure you've heard before. If they go on and on about how you're doing it all wrong, smile and take it easy. If you could make a baby and bring it to this world safely, you also have it in you to take care of it. So, listen to the tips, but don't let them make you doubt yourself as a mother. You know what's best for your child!

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