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16 Absurd Things Women Have Been Compared To In Bollywood Songs

Munni badnam hui, Bollywood tere liye.

17/01/2017 1:32 PM IST | Updated 17/01/2017 6:56 PM IST
Munni Badnam/Dabangg

Bollywood: (n) a woman-objectifying machine that has been operating for around 100 years.

Is the heroine as fierce as thunder, as spicy as tandoori murgi, as calming as Zandu Balm and as light as air? If not, then what even is the point of her, right?

From khilta gulab and shayar ka khwab the Hindi film heroine is now everything from 'halwa' to a jeep that needs petrol. And nobody very few are complaining.

If you have missed the absurdity of comparing women to strange objects while dancing to these songs at that sangeet or bachelor party, here's an eye-opener for you.

1. Tandoori murgi

We agree tandoori murgi is beautiful. Only, calling a woman one is gross.

2. Angur ki daughter

Because how else will we get to scream 'WTF'?

3. Zandu Balm

And there's no escaping the pain of ridiculous objectification.

4. Cinema hall

Because... nah, can't explain this one.

5. Gehre paani ki machhli

Coming up next: Jaws, with the shark replaced with a woman.

6. Desi chidiyan

Okay then.

7. Baby doll sone di

A golden infant doll? A thing that cannot exist and shouldn't as well.

8. Cellular phone

What else do you call someone who talks a lot, right?

9. Lakkha da note

This one can hope she isn't demonetised one fine evening.

10. Chatpati

Because who said women and bhelpuri should have different qualities?

11. Resham ki dor

No, anorexia is not romantic.

12. Saanpon ki rani

See, now women can rule things other than the kitchen. How progressive!

13. Halwa

From tandoori murgi to halwa, we are actually a shapeshifting superfood according to Bollywood songs.

14. Khamba

This is the zenith of women's aspirations -- to be THIS useful.

15. Afghan jalebi

Gah. Women ≠ food. Get it? GET IT?

16. Sharaabon ki pyaali

Stop drinking while writing songs.

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