LIFESTYLE

Avoid These 12 Awful Behaviours If You Don't Want To Be A Social Media Jerk

You don't want to be THAT friend.

14/01/2017 12:42 AM IST | Updated 14/01/2017 12:42 AM IST
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There's no definitive rule book for what constitutes reasonable social media etiquette, which is why most people fall back on the trusty thing called common sense. There is such a thing as Internet overshare, and reasonably intelligent adults know where to draw the line. Not to mention that how you behave online will have a direct bearing on how people perceive you offline. And, considering how many employers use social media presence to vet potential candidates, it's in your own best interest to err on the side of caution while posting. Here's what you absolutely don't do to keep yourself from coming across as a jerk on social media.

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Your god belongs at home, not on Facebook
Unless, by god you mean Morgan Freeman, of course. When it comes to social media etiquette, there is nothing more aggressively unappealing than people who insist on forcing their religious beliefs on others, especially in the context of contentious issues such as abortion, racism, and terrorism. If you're doing it, don't wonder why so many friends continuously seem to accidentally (on purpose) unfriend you.

Plagiarism alert
Lifting people's status updates and tweets and trying to pass them off as your own is downright disgusting. You might be able to bask in the glory of your network's likes and retweets for a little while, but sooner or later, someone is going to cotton on and find the source of all your newfound wit and sense of humour. And a world of embarrassment awaits you when that happens. Quit. Now.

Ask, don't assume
It's sad that this actually needs to be said -- be at least borderline decent and ask people before sharing their picture with your social network. Facebook might be your personal Broadway, but some of us work incredibly hard to keep our personal lives and whereabouts private. Respect that.

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Stop being so #blessed all the time
We get it, your life is one giant bed of roses and we're happy for you. Until, that is, you decide to never let us forget how utterly and impossibly #blessed you are in every way there is. Got an Uber driver who actually knew how to use the navigator? #Blessed. Same-day delivery by Amazon? #Blessed. Free dessert at a restaurant? #OMG #Blessed. If you must count your (many) blessings, at least don't be vulgar enough to do it in full public view

Why do you hate people's babies so much?
It takes a special kind of mean to be able to hate a baby just because its parents are falling over themselves, trying to capture every blink, burp and fart. Sure, it's annoying when your news feed starts to resemble an Anne Geddes greeting card, but rolling your eyes and clicking 'unfollow' is way classier than posting passive-aggressive, mean-spirited rants about babies and new parents.

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Don't be THAT parent
Speaking of incessant baby photos; no one is interested in knowing all the details or seeing photographic evidence of your child's daily heroic exploits; that's what private WhatsApp groups are for.

Are you wanderlusting? Good for you
Did you know it is possible to travel without documenting and sharing every rock, cloud and chai ki tapri you come across during your soul-searching sojourns? Nor is anyone interested in looking at photos of you gazing into the horizon, brows furrowed in contemplating the meaning of life and other impressive epiphanies. Everyone knows that in reality, you're probably just agonising over traveller's constipation.

Wedding warriors
It's your wedding, not the Oscars. The world won't come to a panicked halt if you don't stop the pheras or the march down the aisle or the "kubool hai" to take the #LastSingleSelfie, I promise. Also those bride name + groom name + ki shaadi hashtags? So 2013.

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Hashtag hurricane
#Not #Every #Word #Thought #Or #Emotion #Needs #To #Be #A #Hashtag. No one is that relevant, seriously. #SoCalmDownAndEatASammich, okay?

Don spl lyk dis
You had an education; use it.

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All about the abs
Humblebragging about your ability to drag yourself to the gym is narcissistic, attention-seeking and oh-so odious, especially when accompanied by a pseudo-motivational quote and hashtag. You're fooling no one; everyone knows that all you really wanted was to put up a picture of the "hotter" you and have people congratulate you for it, preferably while feeling envious.

Self-promotion
Everyone uses social media as a tool for professional promotion to some degree, but retweeting yourself when you think you've said something witty and 'liking' your own updates and photos is embarrassingly pathetic and un-classy.

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