Now, Bollywood is a study in the art of impossible. So music plays from pyramids and trees, women don't die standing on the Alps in barely-there chiffons, men beating other men have the flexibility of a spinning top, men getting beaten up fly in the air like frisbees, and we all pay to watch all this.
Often, Bollywood lyricists made sure that songs didn't sound any less absurd than the films themselves.
The result is gems like: 'Main laila laila chillaunga/Kurta phadke'
Here's a list of such Hindi lyrics that will enrich your reserve of gibberish, infinitely.
1. If you are a very-privileged Snapchat filter, this song is for you.
"Strawberry aankhein sochti kya hain
Ladki tum toh mehelon mein ho pali
Woh ice cream ho jo hai fridge mein rakhi
Tumne jo bhi kaha woh hamesha huwa
Tumhe har cheej mili, Mercedes mili
Phir bhi aankhon mein hai, koyi gam kyon chupa
Phir bhi tum khush nahi, bolo hai baat kya
No reaction
Volume double karo"
2. This is probably a PSA -- anyone who tears his clothes in the streets while yelling laila, laila must not be allowed to roam freely in public.
"Main laila laila chillaunga
Kurta phadke
Main tera majnu ban jaunga
Kurta padke
Kurta phad sab chhod chhad
Main ho gaya deewana"
3. This song is what happens when you are misled by western culture. Tch tch.
"Muqala muqabala laila oh ho laila
Muqabala SubhanAllah laila oh ho laila
Jurassic Park mein sundar se jode
Jazz music gaye mil ke
Picasso ki painting mere peecha pakadke
Texas mein nache mil ke
Cowboy dekhe mujhe
Playboy chede mujhe
Sex mere tan mein ho
Mix mere mann mein ho
Pop music jaisi laila
Strawberry jaise ankhein"
4. This is what a stuntman's bio looks like, because you 'fall' in love and it is a stunt. Geddit? Geddit?
"Mirchi mirchi
Jaan hatheli pe rakhlo
Aankhon se moti chakhlo
Teekhi teekhi tej tej yeh sooli par hain sej sej
Imaan bankar tum rakhlo
Mohabbat hai mirchi mohabbat hai mirchi
Mohabbat hai mirchi sanam
Uljhi uljhi tirchi tirchi
Mohabbat ki galiyaan sanam"
5. This is what you sing in the morning after a very spicy dinner.
"Mirchi ha mirchi kamal kar gayi
Mirchi ha mirchi kamal kar gayi
Dhoti ko fad ke ha...
Dhoti ko fad ke rumal kar gayi"
6. When you literally run out of words because you never paid attention in grammar class.
"Sardi khansi na malaria hua
Main gaya yaaron mujhko
Love love love
Laveriyaa hua"
7. Isn't this the friendzone song?
"Main to raste se ja raha tha
Main toh bhelpuri kha raha tha
Main toh ladki ghuma raha tha
Raste se ja raha tha, bhelpuri kha raha tha,
Ladki ghuma raha tha,
Tujhko mirchi lagi toh main kya karoon"
8. This trainwreck of thought is what happens when you are on drugs.
"Anda agar na hota toh murgiya na hoti
Na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti
Murgiyo ke bin maje ki partiya na hoti
Na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti
Gar partiya na hoti toh aashiqui na hoti
Jo aashiqui na hoti toh zindagi na hoti
Ande se milti murgee murgee se milta anda
Patna ho ya Bathinda ghar ghar me milta anda
Iss me chupa hai jivan ka fal safa
Aao sikhao tumhe ande ka funda
Yeh nahin pyare koyi mamuli banda"
9. That girl is definitely a fire-breathing dragon.
"Teri akhiyon ka waar jaise sher ka shikar
Tera husn dhueydaar jaise jaltaa cigar
Tere pyar ka nasha kabhi aar kabhi paar
Tera pyaar pyaar pyaar hookah bar"
10. This is what a song sounds like after CBFC is done with it.
"Main ladki po po po
Tu ladka po po po
Ham dono milein po po po
Ab aage hoga kya
Kuch nahin hoga kuch nahin hoga
Ham dono mein bas ye hoga
Po po pa po po pa po po pa po po pa po po pa po po pa po po"
11. TBH, this is something we all have sang to our food at some point.
"You are my chicken fry
You are my fish fry
Kabhi naa kehna kudiye
Bye bye bye"
12. A better declaration of love is yet to be found. #respect
"Jab tak rahega samose me aloo
Jab tak rahega samose me aloo
Tera rahunga o meri Shalu
Jab tak rahega samose me aloo
Chipki rahegi tujhse ye Shalu"
13. Pretty sure, i heard someone singing this to an ATM two days ago.
"Arey baba kya hei kya chahiye
Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana
Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana
O ya ya ya
Kab se khada o ya ya ya
Na bat bada o ya ya ya
Na ankh dikha o ya ya ya
Banti hei kya o ya ya ya
Na kar danga o ya ya ya
Na le panga
Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana
Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana"
14. When you want to get back at the person who rejected you. After all, not everyone can be Poo.
"Khambe jaisi khadi hai ladki hai ya chhadi hai
Shola hai phooljhadi hai pattakhe ki ladi hai
Aankhon mein ghussa hai labon pe gaali hai
Dekho jara dekho yaaron khudko samajhti hain kya"
15. This is probably a Tinder bio.
"Telephone dhun mein hansane vaali
Melbourne machhali machalne vaali
Digital mein sur hai taraasha
Madonna hai ya Natasha
Zaakir Hussain tabla tu hai kya
Sona sona tera chamake ruup salona
Sona sona cellular phone tum to ho na
Computer ko le kar bramha ne rachaaya kya"
16. This is the only reason I learned the English alphabet.
"Abcdefghi jklm nopkrstuvwx yz, I love you
Chuttiyon ke yeh din hain suhane, sathee teraa yuh sath rahe
Bachchon ke sang bachche phir ban jaye
Mauj me jhume jara mastee kare
Ban ke badal ban ke panchhee, udate rahe
Kya bat hai jijaji
Abcdefghi jklm nopkrstuvwx yz, I love you"
17. This song is like going to a history examination unprepared. You know the names, but you don't know what these personalities did but you know you will get grace marks if you praise them.
"Rajesh Shivaji wah wah, Akbar Badshah wah wah
Mahatma Gandhi wah wah, Cha Cha Nehru wah wah
Baba Ambedkar wah wah, Mother Teresa wah wah
Where diggin it up, where diggin it down
This is the Indian town
Together we're strong, in God we trust
Yeah you cannot beat us"
18. Why is this a song sung by an adult male and not a 2 year-old, we will never understand.
"Su su su aa gaya mein kya karu
Su su su aa gaya mein kya karu
O aa o aa e
Jaa ke ghar mein kar ke aa
O aa o aa e
Mujko pagal na bana
O aa o aa e
Jaa ke ghar mein kar ke aa
O aa o aa e
Mujko pagal na bana
Su su su aa gaya mein kya karu"
19. Only Himesh Reshammiya can explain this.
"Tanha tanha hai dil
Tanha tandoori nights
If loving you is wrong
I don't wanna be right"
20. The only song more desperate than "duniya haseeno ka mela".
"Mere baap ki beti mujhe bhai bolti
Mere baap ki biwi mujhe beta bolti
Meri maa ka bhai mujhe bhaanja bolta
Mere bhai ki beti mujhe chacha bolti
Uparwale tune mujhko sab kuch diya
Ab dede husband kehne wali sundar biwi"