LIFESTYLE

20 Bollywood Songs Whose WTF Lyrics Will Give You A Headache

"Utha le re, baba."

21/11/2016 5:03 PM IST | Updated 22/11/2016 5:56 PM IST
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Now, Bollywood is a study in the art of impossible. So music plays from pyramids and trees, women don't die standing on the Alps in barely-there chiffons, men beating other men have the flexibility of a spinning top, men getting beaten up fly in the air like frisbees, and we all pay to watch all this.

Often, Bollywood lyricists made sure that songs didn't sound any less absurd than the films themselves.

The result is gems like: 'Main laila laila chillaunga/Kurta phadke'

Here's a list of such Hindi lyrics that will enrich your reserve of gibberish, infinitely.

1. If you are a very-privileged Snapchat filter, this song is for you.

"Strawberry aankhein sochti kya hain

Ladki tum toh mehelon mein ho pali

Woh ice cream ho jo hai fridge mein rakhi

Tumne jo bhi kaha woh hamesha huwa

Tumhe har cheej mili, Mercedes mili

Phir bhi aankhon mein hai, koyi gam kyon chupa

Phir bhi tum khush nahi, bolo hai baat kya

No reaction

Volume double karo"

2. This is probably a PSA -- anyone who tears his clothes in the streets while yelling laila, laila must not be allowed to roam freely in public.

"Main laila laila chillaunga

Kurta phadke

Main tera majnu ban jaunga

Kurta padke

Kurta phad sab chhod chhad

Main ho gaya deewana"

3. This song is what happens when you are misled by western culture. Tch tch.

"Muqala muqabala laila oh ho laila

Muqabala SubhanAllah laila oh ho laila

Jurassic Park mein sundar se jode

Jazz music gaye mil ke

Picasso ki painting mere peecha pakadke

Texas mein nache mil ke

Cowboy dekhe mujhe

Playboy chede mujhe

Sex mere tan mein ho

Mix mere mann mein ho

Pop music jaisi laila

Strawberry jaise ankhein"

4. This is what a stuntman's bio looks like, because you 'fall' in love and it is a stunt. Geddit? Geddit?

"Mirchi mirchi

Jaan hatheli pe rakhlo

Aankhon se moti chakhlo

Teekhi teekhi tej tej yeh sooli par hain sej sej

Imaan bankar tum rakhlo

Mohabbat hai mirchi mohabbat hai mirchi

Mohabbat hai mirchi sanam

Uljhi uljhi tirchi tirchi

Mohabbat ki galiyaan sanam"

5. This is what you sing in the morning after a very spicy dinner.

"Mirchi ha mirchi kamal kar gayi

Mirchi ha mirchi kamal kar gayi

Dhoti ko fad ke ha...

Dhoti ko fad ke rumal kar gayi"

6. When you literally run out of words because you never paid attention in grammar class.

"Sardi khansi na malaria hua

Main gaya yaaron mujhko

Love love love

Laveriyaa hua"

7. Isn't this the friendzone song?

"Main to raste se ja raha tha

Main toh bhelpuri kha raha tha

Main toh ladki ghuma raha tha

Raste se ja raha tha, bhelpuri kha raha tha,

Ladki ghuma raha tha,

Tujhko mirchi lagi toh main kya karoon"

8. This trainwreck of thought is what happens when you are on drugs.

"Anda agar na hota toh murgiya na hoti

Na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti

Murgiyo ke bin maje ki partiya na hoti

Na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti na hoti

Gar partiya na hoti toh aashiqui na hoti

Jo aashiqui na hoti toh zindagi na hoti

Ande se milti murgee murgee se milta anda

Patna ho ya Bathinda ghar ghar me milta anda

Iss me chupa hai jivan ka fal safa

Aao sikhao tumhe ande ka funda

Yeh nahin pyare koyi mamuli banda"

9. That girl is definitely a fire-breathing dragon.

"Teri akhiyon ka waar jaise sher ka shikar

Tera husn dhueydaar jaise jaltaa cigar

Tere pyar ka nasha kabhi aar kabhi paar

Tera pyaar pyaar pyaar hookah bar"

10. This is what a song sounds like after CBFC is done with it.

"Main ladki po po po

Tu ladka po po po

Ham dono milein po po po

Ab aage hoga kya

Kuch nahin hoga kuch nahin hoga

Ham dono mein bas ye hoga

Po po pa po po pa po po pa po po pa po po pa po po pa po po"

11. TBH, this is something we all have sang to our food at some point.

"You are my chicken fry

You are my fish fry

Kabhi naa kehna kudiye

Bye bye bye"

12. A better declaration of love is yet to be found. #respect

"Jab tak rahega samose me aloo

Jab tak rahega samose me aloo

Tera rahunga o meri Shalu

Jab tak rahega samose me aloo

Chipki rahegi tujhse ye Shalu"

13. Pretty sure, i heard someone singing this to an ATM two days ago.

"Arey baba kya hei kya chahiye

Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana

Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana

O ya ya ya

Kab se khada o ya ya ya

Na bat bada o ya ya ya

Na ankh dikha o ya ya ya

Banti hei kya o ya ya ya

Na kar danga o ya ya ya

Na le panga

Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana

Bara ana de bara ana de bara ana"

14. When you want to get back at the person who rejected you. After all, not everyone can be Poo.

"Khambe jaisi khadi hai ladki hai ya chhadi hai

Shola hai phooljhadi hai pattakhe ki ladi hai

Aankhon mein ghussa hai labon pe gaali hai

Dekho jara dekho yaaron khudko samajhti hain kya"

15. This is probably a Tinder bio.

"Telephone dhun mein hansane vaali

Melbourne machhali machalne vaali

Digital mein sur hai taraasha

Madonna hai ya Natasha

Zaakir Hussain tabla tu hai kya

Sona sona tera chamake ruup salona

Sona sona cellular phone tum to ho na

Computer ko le kar bramha ne rachaaya kya"

16. This is the only reason I learned the English alphabet.

"Abcdefghi jklm nopkrstuvwx yz, I love you

Chuttiyon ke yeh din hain suhane, sathee teraa yuh sath rahe

Bachchon ke sang bachche phir ban jaye

Mauj me jhume jara mastee kare

Ban ke badal ban ke panchhee, udate rahe

Kya bat hai jijaji

Abcdefghi jklm nopkrstuvwx yz, I love you"

17. This song is like going to a history examination unprepared. You know the names, but you don't know what these personalities did but you know you will get grace marks if you praise them.

"Rajesh Shivaji wah wah, Akbar Badshah wah wah

Mahatma Gandhi wah wah, Cha Cha Nehru wah wah

Baba Ambedkar wah wah, Mother Teresa wah wah

Where diggin it up, where diggin it down

This is the Indian town

Together we're strong, in God we trust

Yeah you cannot beat us"

18. Why is this a song sung by an adult male and not a 2 year-old, we will never understand.

"Su su su aa gaya mein kya karu

Su su su aa gaya mein kya karu

O aa o aa e

Jaa ke ghar mein kar ke aa

O aa o aa e

Mujko pagal na bana

O aa o aa e

Jaa ke ghar mein kar ke aa

O aa o aa e

Mujko pagal na bana

Su su su aa gaya mein kya karu"

19. Only Himesh Reshammiya can explain this.

"Tanha tanha hai dil

Tanha tandoori nights

If loving you is wrong

I don't wanna be right"

20. The only song more desperate than "duniya haseeno ka mela".

"Mere baap ki beti mujhe bhai bolti

Mere baap ki biwi mujhe beta bolti

Meri maa ka bhai mujhe bhaanja bolta

Mere bhai ki beti mujhe chacha bolti

Uparwale tune mujhko sab kuch diya

Ab dede husband kehne wali sundar biwi"

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