Remember that story your parents and your grandparents told you about how 'God' left you at their drawing room for them? Or how when you refused to spit out orange seeds, they declared you'll have an orange tree growing in your tummy?
And then later, how you were just one engineering exam away from becoming Richard Branson? Nobody said bringing up a child was easy. Especially a 90s kid who thought 'Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast' was a legitimate song to be sung at house parties. And there are times they had to lie. Here's a list of 'lies' that you must have heard while growing up in an Indian household.
1. Abhi padh lo, baad mein ash hi ash hai. (Study now, enjoy later.)
"CA karlo phir ash hi ash hai."
"MBA karlo phir ash hi ash hai."
2. Jo log cigarette/daaru peete hain woh gande hote hain. (People who drink and smoke are bad people)
Umm, no mom. They may have bad lungs and livers, but smoking and drinking won't make them bad human beings.
3. Chai peene se kaale hote hain. (You'll become dark if you drink too much tea)
So we can get a tan, without even stepping out in the sun. That's great!
4. Paer taapne se height rukk jaati hai. (If you cross over your siblings' body while they are lying down or sitting, they will stop growing.)
Actually, we kind of knew that's not true, right? But we still followed it.
5. If you do shaitaani(mischief), we'll take you to a boarding school.
Park tak toh le jaate nahi ho. (First take us to the park)
6. Listen to your parents, we are always right.
No, this isn't a call for either rebellion or disobedience. But you, parents can be wrong too at times.
7. Zyada TV dekhne se aankhein kharab ho jaayengi. (You'll have to get specs if you watch TV all day)
The kind of bullsh*t that we see on Indian television, dimaag zaroor kharab ho jaayega papa. Nobody warned us about hurting our brains thanks to TV, though.
8. If you don't listen to us, we'll take you to a doctor and give you an injection.
Doctor with injection >>> Superhit Muqabla on TV.
9. Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis.
Nope, it doesn't. It's actually healthy for your bones. (Read more)
10. Wake up! You're late.
You know that time when it was 6am and your mom told you, "It's 8, WAKE UP!". Happens every single day.
11. "We'll see."
We'll see = we never will.
12. When I was your age, I didn't do that.
You must have been doing something else to piss your parents off!
13. You look like a prince/princess.
Only without their pocket money!
14. Jhooth bolne se naak lambi ho jaati hai. (Your nose gets a little bit longer every time you lie.)
"Aapki kyun nahi lambi hui phir?" (Why, umm, do you have a long nose?)
15. We'll go there some other day.
Just say no.
16. Studies are the most important thing in life.
Refer to Taare Zameen Par please.
17. Sports are a waste of time.
18. Get settled and everything will be alright.
What am I? Dust?
19. Boys/men don't cry.
Oh, we sure do. Patriarchy, which is kind of silly, propagates such lies. You don't have to believe them.
20. Privacy? What privacy? You're my kid. I should know everything.
This tweet will tell you what I'm talking about.
Indian parents always mistake their children's privacy with secrecy.— Casual Rajat (@Extranaut) August 24, 2013
Also see on HuffPost: