Indian parents have high expectations from their kids for a simple reason. Because 'Sharmaji ka beta' has already achieved everything their kids ever could.
From avoiding relatives after exam results are out, to struggling to meet sky-high expectations, boys and girls in India perforce make life decisions and choices heavily influenced by the 'log kya kahengey' syndrome, even as they try to live in a way they find fun and meaningful.
'Desi' Twitter has done a good job of capturing a slice of India life as experienced by its exasperated children, all in under 140 characters.
We have compiled a list of tweets that you may (or not) relate to as an Indian.
Indian dad: "My son is missing!"— Akshar (@AksharPathak) April 29, 2016
Police: "FIR likhwaani padegi. How would you describe him?"
Dad: "Not half as good as Sharma ji's son"
Indian parents always mistake their children's privacy with secrecy.— Casual Rajat (@Extranaut) August 24, 2013
The secret ingredient of Maggi is your hunger.— izzy (@abcdefu) October 2, 2012
Indians learn fractions in school to order soup.— Jagdish Yadav (@prtxt) August 15, 2013
No mom. I don't want to talk to some super distant relative, on the phone. No mom.. No no. Hello.— Pathikrit Sanyal (@BucketheadCase) November 17, 2012
Son: can I go to my friend's house fr party?— मोहित (@MohitParmarr) November 5, 2014
Dad: Dnt ask me. Ask your mom
Mom: Dnt ask me. Ask your dad
Son: bc,ghar h ya SBI ki branch?
Indians would've been better at football if our mothers didn't say "Beta pair nahin lagate" all through our childhood.— Ripper (@Ace_Of_Pace) June 10, 2014
My birthday— Viren (@Kaminapun) October 17, 2015
*mom spends all day in kitchen to cook special for me*
*mom spends all day in kitchen to cook special for me*
If we have to select one thing that we Indians make the best in the world, it has to be the glue for stickers on steel vessels.— Soumya (@soumyaBha_t) January 25, 2016
Neighbours are self employed CCTV cameras— Priyanka Lahiri (@lahirip) April 23, 2015
Uncle : Beta abhi kya age ho gai hai tumhari— pinku (@LEDtvn) May 7, 2016
Me : 29 ki ho gai hun.
Uncle : Tumhari age me toh mai 35 ka ho gaya tha.
Life ka viva relatives lete hai.— Nox (@NehaT_) September 16, 2013
The worst part of growing up is, your parents grow old.— तोहार Cow ऊंगली (@MeetUunngLee) July 22, 2015
I learnt optimism from my mom.— Pranav (@pranavsapra) May 22, 2015
Mom: how was your exam?
Mom: Bohot Bekaar Ke thoda Bekaar?
"Mehendi laga ke rakhna, dowry saja ke rakhna"- Indians— no (@Sarcusstic) June 5, 2013
Dad *walks in my room at midnight* : Petrol sasta hogaya hai— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) January 15, 2016
Me : so?
Dad : aag laga dunga is phone ko, so ja
Maggi is a perfect Indian brand. It says 2 minutes when it means 5-10 minutes.— NumbYaar (@NumbYaar) April 23, 2013
Girls in India wear see-through tops so everyone can see that other top that they're wearing inside.— Rameez (@Sychlops) December 30, 2014
The most horrific two seconds in life are when you're expecting water to come out from the tap but it comes out from the shower above.— Hardik Rajgor (@Hardism) December 9, 2013
Driving on the wrong side of the road is how most Indians live their American dream.— Moon (@moonsez) May 12, 2015
Me:*cleans house*replaces bedsheets*rolls round rotis*paints grandma's toenails*— glistening placenta (@AccioBae) June 5, 2015
Ma: Hum tumhare jitne the tab hum roller coaster banate the
Exam se pehle Bacche padhai karte hain. Mard to sirf maa ka aashirwad le ke jaate hain.— रंगीला बुढ़ऊ (@Bihar_ke_lala) March 20, 2013
15 yrs ago— Natcho Friend (@TheFookFace) October 12, 2013
Me: paise do na dance class join karunga
Baap: chal be padhaai kar
Him: Wo dance show pe tere jitne bachche kya naachte hai
Me: Dad what it's like to be married?— amrtsh (@floydimus) April 1, 2015
Me: What do you mean?
Me: Are you even listening to me, Dad?
Dad: That's about it
Me: Sorry I missed your call.— Nox (@NehaT_) July 31, 2013
Friend: Huh? I didn't call.
Me: Yes you did, some time last month. Acha sun, ek kaam tha tere se.
Mummy: Music baht loud hai, volume kam kar— Chaukanna Chor (@DefucktiveHumor) September 29, 2015
Me: ab thik?
Me: ab ?
Me: Band ho gaya
Mummy: ha ab thik hai.
Behind every successful woman are her parents... wondering why she hasn't found someone yet and when she plans on getting married.— Anuya (@anuyeaah) February 11, 2014
Your parents don't want grandchildren. They want revenge.— krzfrg (@krazyfrog) April 2, 2013
A mom is the one who puts 4 Rotis in your tiffin when you tell her 'Kal se subzi kam rakhna. Tin rotiyon ke liye bahot zyada hai'— फाडू (@FaaduTweets) August 12, 2013
Sharmaji ka beta pic.twitter.com/dBSHQ7xtMi— Sneha Pai (@ClassicallyWild) May 23, 2016
Other countries : Go home, you're drunk.— Swagshank (@zZoker) June 2, 2015
India : Don't go your home, you're drunk.
If we don't get off the flight within the first 50 seconds of it landing, the flight will take off again with us in it - Indians— Priyal (@priyal) December 12, 2014
The only time Indians would consider four children, when the first three are girls.— Sagar (@sagarcasm) January 7, 2015
*sells kidney to satisfy dad's expectations and gives him money*— udaas priest (@UdaasPriest) December 25, 2014
"umm, you know what, our neighbour's son's kidney fetched more than this"
*clicks around 20 pics of myself*— Sense of tumor (@dashhtweets) June 29, 2013
*selects d best(less chubby n spotless)*
*deletes all d others*
*uploads it wid a tagline"random click :)"
A group of relatives is called an interrogation.— amrtsh (@floydimus) January 5, 2016
We are a generation of Indians who got post graduate degrees to avoid early marriage.— mihir (@mihirmodi) October 13, 2012
There is vegetarian and then there is "I won't kiss you on the mouth because you had butter chicken last week" vegetarian.— Purva (@thatobesewoman) November 15, 2014
"BITCH! I WILL OVERTAKE YOU AND GET TO THAT SIGNAL AT WHICH I'M GONNA GET STUCK ANYWAY AND SEE YOU THERE!" - Indian Drivers.— scaryhairyman (@scaryhairyman) July 25, 2013
I'm so Gujarati that even if there's a really pretty girl with me in the rickshaw, I cannot take my eyes away from the meter.— Hardik Rajgor (@Hardism) September 22, 2014
When relatives call to ask your result, ask them their salary.— NumbYaar (@NumbYaar) May 27, 2013
Hello? Mummy?— #Sindhutard (@Oinkoo) August 8, 2013
Kitne log tumhe mummy bulate hain mummy? :|
*Interval at theatre *— Ojas. (@Ojasism) December 9, 2015
Rich people: *Order popcorn, pepsi, burger*
Me: *Goes to toilet, comes back & watches ads like never seen before*
*Accidentally drops a glass in the kitchen*— Akshar (@AksharPathak) December 9, 2013
Mother: "Tod do. Sab kuch tod do. Puri kitchen tod do. Pura ghar tod do."
Life cycle of clothes in India :— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) September 13, 2013
R. I. P
Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green.— Casual Rajat (@Extranaut) January 20, 2014
My frnd just called n said we are going for a movie at 8. Before i cud say "Love u bhai", he said "Yahi boliyo agar mere ghar se phone aaye"— Anuj Khurana (@HaddHaiYaar) June 27, 2014
Indian mothers have the cure for gluten allergy and lactose intolerance. It's called "ek thappad padega toh sab khaya jaaega!"— Meh. (@MissTumbledore) October 6, 2015
Mom: Mausi ko dekha?— P.R. (@pr_akash_raj) September 15, 2015
Me: Ruko dhundta hu
*In loud voice* Maa meri ek gf hai
Mausi: *prakats* Mene to pehle hi kaha tha ye ladk..
Me: Ye rahi
Dear parents,— m (@Psilosophy) December 15, 2013
Investment in your children are subject to market risks. Please read the "chaar log kya kahenge?" document carefully.
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