If something is as religiously followed as cricket in India, it is the Bollywood. Be it genres, high drama, set pieces, impossible stunts or music, the cult of Indian cinema, in all its glory through its mainstream Hindi and regional outreach, is nurtured by millions of Indians who are deeply invested in it.
Having said that, it is also the butt of some of the best (worst) jokes you will ever read. Nothing is sacred, everyone's a fair target.
See for yourself:
1. Sorry rabba.
and then she was like iss pyaar ko kya naam duun bechain dil ko kaise aaram dun and rabba was like yeh puchne ke liye chaalis baar bulaya.— Denver Ka Dhakkan (@tantanoo) December 11, 2015
2. Yes please.
Veeru:basanti in kutton k samne mat nachna
V:naaai basanti mat nachna
Basanti:untag me— Bakwas Rider (@BakwasRadio) April 12, 2016
3. Where's my calculator?
Venn diagram of 'Nainon mein sapna, sapnein mein sajna'. pic.twitter.com/3nBiZ47T— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) February 11, 2013
4. Very sad.
Arijit Singh's songs are so romantic that you miss your lover even if you never had a lover.— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) April 6, 2015
Breaking news : Katrina Kaif was severely injured in an upcoming movie while doing impossible stunts like giving an expression.— P. (@SocialBitterfly) September 19, 2014
6. Hardwork pays off!
Miley Cyrus in a still from her auditions for Manjhi, The Mountain Man. pic.twitter.com/TJDDZdZ9fK— Sand-d Singh (@Sand_In_Deed) August 24, 2015
Which is that Imtiaz Ali movie where a couple have fun together but are unsure about their feelings & there's a lot of travelling involved?— Football Hater (@Sychlops) September 22, 2015
8. Sanskaar maxxx.
In a Sooraj Barjatya film:— Avinash Iyer (@IyerAvin) May 22, 2015
Bae: Come over
Prem: A lil busy now
Bae: My parents are home
Prem: Will be there in 5 with my parents
9. Every goddamn video ever.
Youtube has employed one guy whose job is to comment "I'm from Pakistan but I love this song from India" on every Bollywood Song.— Aladdin (@Alllahdin) November 4, 2015
Pic 1: Pan card.— Chikoo (@TweetErrant) June 30, 2015
Pic 2: Matrimonial site. pic.twitter.com/mIJIk5l14j
Back in the 90s, Sonu Nigam and Falguni Pathak were the same person. pic.twitter.com/mz7maKzmNO— Akshar (@AksharPathak) October 26, 2015
13. Never playing Prince of Persia again.
Prince of Persia starring Salman Khan— inGenious (@Bees_Kut) February 17, 2015
Dubsmash is the app version of Shamitabh.😂— Riddhi Dhebri (@RiddhiDhebri) May 21, 2015
15. On point.
Hum Aapke Hain Kaun is so epic, there's an emoji dedicated to it. pic.twitter.com/4kbFw1BbKn— Mihir (@mihirmodi) June 21, 2014
16. And some life lessons.
Things to learn from Bollywood.— maithun poor (@Being_Humor) March 18, 2015
1. Don't lose hope. Abhishek Bachchan got Aishwarya.
2. Don't be over confident. Even Hrithik got dumped.
17. And the award for the best joke goes to...
Hollywood - And the Oscar goes to— ubercoolosis. (@ubercoolosis) January 10, 2016
Bollywood - And the Sansui Colors Stardust Pan Parag Amba TMT Saria AsliMasaleSachSachMDHMDH Award goes to
18. Maa ke haath ka khaana <3
19. Have to ketchup on jokes.
What is the Big B's favourite ketchup? pic.twitter.com/3vyQn757NZ— Manas (@Spooferman_) February 10, 2015
20. Will try this next time.
Air hostess: Sir tea or coffee ?— The-Lying-Lama (@KyaUkhaadLega) July 25, 2014
Me: Chai pls...
Air Hostess: Lo chai....
Me: ulfat ho gaya...
*Runs towards emergency exit*
GF: Make me wet— अंकित (@indiantweeter) November 13, 2015
Suraj Barjatya: Bade Bauji ab nahi rahe 😭😭😭
22. Madhur Bhandarkar will call this joke a joke.
Some people copy tweets from others. Pritam copies music from others. But Madhur Bhandarkar is the first man who copies his own films.— Sagarcasm (@sagarcasm) July 2, 2015
When you are going on a trip to Goa with family pic.twitter.com/qsPWt4GKW9— Billoo (@MohitParmarr) May 27, 2015
24. Our genres are the best.
Bollywood movie genres:
Romantic True Story
Romantic Patriotic— Rajat (@Extranaut) November 17, 2013
I am all like jaati hun main and traffic is like jaldi hai kya— Denver Ka Dhakkan (@tantanoo) January 2, 2014
Me talking about my crush when he isn't looking pic.twitter.com/x2LrTWjAYw— glistening placenta (@AccioBae) September 29, 2014
27. Cab drivers have zero chills.
Just did the hand-out-of-taxi-to-feel-the-rain thing from Wake Up Sid and cabbie yelled at me saying "PEHLE BOLNE KA NA RIGHT LENA HAI"— Crapo (@Creepowoman) June 24, 2013
28. Oh man.
Lets take a moment to acknowledge the oddity of Akshay Kumars shaved armpits in this movie.Boat party anyone? pic.twitter.com/Ei8f4aQMQa— Purva (@thatobesewoman) March 1, 2015
Jackie Shroff's dog is Scoobhidu.— k (@krazyfrog) April 5, 2016
30. ... I'm out of here.
Airhostess Sonu Nigam: "Kripya dhyan dein. Aapatkaleen stithi me vimaan ke pichle bhaag mein do dwaar mil rahein hain, magar chupke chupke."— Akshar (@AksharPathak) February 5, 2016
Until next time.
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