"Mubarak ho jee, beti ki Tinder match ho gayee!" said no mother yet. And if you thought that the line belonged to a dystopian future which has no wifi, tea bags and Benedict Cumberbatch, your life is about to change.
Courtesy this commercial, which could well have been titled 'Main Tinder Teri Aangaan Ki'.
So, Tulsi... oops... unnamed protagonist of the ad, is standing before a mirror and fiddling with a stole. She coils it around her neck, she lets it hang loosely across her shoulder, she pulls it in front and smiles at herself. The girl's mother passes by the door and spots her daughter in the throes of a serious stole-draping crisis. She quickly walks in, ready to help. As she sits down on the bed, daughter's phone buzzes. And like any other non-intrusive mother, she looks at the phone. And guess what she sees? Her daughter has a Tinder message!
Her face glows, a smile curls around her lips, she whispers to herself, "Humari beti ab badi ho gayee hai." Okay. She doesn't say that. But, your half fried brain most surely will.
So, when the daughter asks her opinion on a neckpiece, she quips she would 'swipe right' on it.
But hey, don't think the mother has forgotten all her sanskaar, thanks to all these western apps. She first confirms that the daughter is returning home by evening--which means no adult activity before the families have met, given their blessings and sung 'Wah wah Ramji, Jodi kya banayee'--only, then she 'right swipes' said neckpiece.
She also has a Tinder date tip: apply kajal. That's not a code-word for condom. That's a less expensive way to stay safe and ward off evils, like unmarried youngsters having sex.
And then Mommy dearest walks away, possibly calculating how many kilos of laddoos she needs to order right away.
So, here's the future of Tinder you are looking at: BBM pins have been replaced with gotras, the unfortunate profile pics of men petting drugged tigers have been replaced with unfortunate pics of men feeding gau mata, annoying selfies of women with Sangria glasses have been replaced with annoying selfies of women with dhokla. And profile descriptions no more exhort 'LiVe lYf KINGsIzE', they instead gloat 'Mere paas Maa hai'.
And when you 'match' and have not chatted yet, the passive aggressive prompts say, "Beta, akele main baat kar lo" or "Manglik or what?".
Considering the ad was released today, on the eve of Mother's Day, who knows, your cloying Mother's Day Facebook post can be on window swiping on TinderSaathi.Com! Go, get swiping people!
You can watch the video here: