In the parallel universe of the fairness industry, where commercials attempt to hoodwink people into believing that a lotion holds the key to lighter skin and by inference to brighter marital prospect, every day is a new challenge in selling rubbish, aspirational products. If you are the sort that checks out every skin brightening cream that hits the market, we have six words for you: Kalyan Neeli, Kalyan Neeli, Kalyan Neeli.
Let that bounce around your head like a yo-yo on sugar high because when you see this video for what looks like a fabric whitener, those six might just be the last words that will stay with you as you float gently towards the bright light.
A popular Telugu sitcom has a brilliantly hilarious spoof of fairness products ads. An episode of the serial 'Amrutham', one of the longest-running shows in Telugu, shows a concerned father telling viewers that has tried a thousand times to find a groom for his dusky daughter but they've all turned her down.
Suddenly two women brandishing the magical Kalyan Neeli solution appear out of thin air and pour down the content of the bottle down the woman's throat. The father (strangely unperturbed by this disturbing home intrusion and assault) is thrilled when the potion turns her skin several notches fairer.
The two women, their job done, thrust the bottle at the camera chanting “Kalyan Neeli...Kalyan Neeli...Kalyan Neeli".
The serial is centered around a fictional hotel named Amrutha Vilas and stars two friends who are co-partners of the hotel.
Predictably, social media users took the bait.
My eyes burn....Posted by Mango Productions on Thursday, January 28, 2016
Yeh kya dekha mainehttps://t.co/sQ4viWfvTb— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) January 21, 2016
WTF!!! Hahahahaha Kalyan Neeli Kalyan Neeli Kalyan Neeli 😂😂😂😂😂🌚 pic.twitter.com/0mChlAyiDS— Bavaria ✨ (@Rawan_a116) January 30, 2016
@Ramana_Raghava not enough stock of Kalyan Neeli. Must have sold out given the incredible efficacy.— Karthik Srinivasan (@beastoftraal) January 28, 2016
Repeat after me: Kalyan Neeli...Kalyan Neeli...Kalyan Neeli.
You are asleep. You are one of us now.
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