Hey, it happens, okay? You listen to a song on the radio while you're driving and trying to ignore the pings on your various WhatsApp groups and a Hindi film song you know and love comes on. And you sing along until a friend laughs at you and says, "Those are not the words!" And you go "Huh, what, really?" as your world shatters around you.
Misheard phrases, also called 'mondegreens', happen all the time because so many words sound so similar to others. One of the most famous examples of this in rock music is the line 'Excuse me while I kiss this guy' from 'Purple Haze' by Jimi Hendrix (the actual line is 'Excuse me while I kiss the sky'). When this happens, it results in the song acquiring a different meaning. And obviously, because we're all terrible, perverted humans, the second meaning is often something that's hilarious because it's somewhat... dirty. Or just different.
Here are a few examples we picked out from Bollywood.
1. 'Aap Jaisa Koi' from 'Qurbani' (1980)
What we hear: 'Aap jaisa koi mere zindagi mein aaye, woh baap ban jaaye'
What it is: 'Aap jaisa koi mere zindagi mein aaye, woh baat ban jaaye'
Possible reason for mishearing: It is said that the human mind thinks about sex every seven seconds and this song is definitely longer than that.
2. 'Ishq Wala Love' from 'Student Of The Year' (2012)
What we hear: 'Ish! Koala love!"
What it is: 'Ishq waala love'
Possible reason for mishearing: Koalas are the most adorable creatures to have existed in the history of nature.
3. 'Main Pareshaan' from 'Ishaqzaade' (2013)
What we hear: 'Main Paresh Shah, Paresh Shah, Paresh Shah, Paresh Shah... Aunty shaver kahaan?'
What it is: 'Main pareshaan, pareshaan, pareshaan, pareshaan... aatishein woh kahaan?'
Possible reason for mishearing: It's all Hoezaay's fault. Literally. All of it.
4. 'Chittiyaan Kalaiyaan' from 'Roy' (2015)
What we hear: 'Ch*tiya kalaiyaan re'
What it is: 'Chittiyaan kalaiyaan re'
Possible reason for mishearing: We are literally 12-year-olds.
4. 'Tere Jaisa Yaar Kahaan' from 'Yaarana' (1980)
What we hear: 'Baitha diya palang pe, mujhe khaat se uthaake'
What it is: 'Baitha diya falak pe, mujhe khaat se uthaake'
Possible reason for mishearing: 'Palang' means bed, 'falak' means heaven. Wait, aren't they the same thing?
5. 'Lovely' from 'Happy New Year' (2014)
What we hear: 'Mohini! Mohini! Mohini! Haavee you shaaved my toe, Ranbir!'
What it is: 'Mohini! Mohini! Mohini! ?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!???????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ '
Possible reason for mishearing: We're all terrible people who like to imagine what Bollywood stars do in their most intimate, vulnerable moments. This is also Hoezaay's fault.
6. 'Meri Kismat Mein Tu' from 'Prem Rog' (1982)
What we hear: 'Merry Christmas mein tu nahi shaayad'
What it is: 'Meri kismat mein tu nahi shaayad'
Possible reason for mishearing: Why wouldn't you want to hear 'Merry Christmas'? Are you a sad, lonely person who wants everything to be sentimental and depressing?
7. 'Chhoo Lene Do Nazuk Hothon Ko' from 'Kaajal' (1965)
What we hear:'Bachchon ko buraa saabit karanaa duniyaa ki puraani aadat hai'
What it is: 'Achhon ko buraa saabit karanaa duniyaa ki puraani aadat hai'
Possible reason for mishearing: As mentioned earlier, we're all really 12-year-olds who are still smarting about being told we were wrong as kids.
8. 'Banno' from 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns' (2015)
What we hear: 'Banno tera sweater laage sexy'
What it is: 'Banno tera swagger laage sexy'
Possible reason for mishearing: Because 'sweater' makes more sense. It's a song about someone calling someone else's sweater sexy. That's it. What's the point of calling someone's swagger sexy? That's just redundant — a swagger is supposed to be sexy. It's like singing about how your lunch was indeed cooked.
9. 'Maar Dala' from 'Devdas' (2002)
What we hear: 'Khushi ne havaa mein hamein maar dala'
What it is: 'Khushi ne hamaari hamein maar dala'
Possible reason for mishearing: Because imagining being ninja-kicked by 'happiness' in mid-air is an awesome visual.
10. 'Aati Kya Khandala' from 'Ghulam' (1998)
What we hear: 'Haathi ka anda la'
What it is: 'Aati kya Khandala'
Possible reason for mishearing: Aamir Khan's over-emphasised pronunciation of words.
11. 'Tumse Mila Thha Pyaar' from 'Khatta Meetha' (1981)
What we hear: 'Hum un dinon ameer thhe, jab tum gareeb thhe'
What it is: 'Hum un dinon ameer thhe, jab tum kareeb thhe'
Possible reason for mishearing: 'Ameer' and 'gareeb' are opposites, so it makes sense that they would go together.